


BODYGUARD (Y/N) X HAZBIN HOTEL/HELLUVA BOSS

by Matrixdexter



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:55:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29539227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matrixdexter/pseuds/Matrixdexter
Summary: Chosen as the bodyguard of Charlie (after razzle and dazzle) you take you're job kinda serious
Relationships: Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)/Original Male Character(s), Charlie Magne/Vaggie, Cherri Bomb (Hazbin Hotel)/Original Male Character(s), Loona (Helluva Boss)/Original Male Character(s), Millie/Moxxie (Helluva Boss)
Kudos: 9





	1. THE BODYGUARD

NAME: (Y/N)

NICKNAME: "HELL'S EXTERMINATOR"

AGE: 26

RACE: demon

Sexuality: bisexual

WEAPONS: claws and revolver

CLOTHES:

When on the job: a suit and black shoes

Casual: no shoes, long black pants, underwear, no shirt, a militar vest and a brown flat cap with hidden razors (peaky blinders)

FEATURES:

Lean body but also kinda skinny, the whole body is red except for the left arm that is white, various scars: scratch marks on the right cheek, a slash on the abdomen and various bullet wounds 

ABILITIES:

Gifts from Lucifer:

Numb to pain, quick healing, regeneration, the pale arm turns into the claw that allows to permanently kill demons

Abilities:

Agility, great accuracy, knowledge of weak points, quickness, a great marksman and good to hand to hand combat

LIKES:

Charlie, vaggie, Angel dust, husk, niffty, cherry bomb, moxie, Millie, loona, Stolas, food, alcohol mostly vodka, fighting, killing demons and exterminators, taking care of Charlie, Charlie's optimism and his flat cap

DISLIKES:

Lucifer, vox, Valentino, Katie killjoy, Tom trench (sometimes), sir pentious (sometimes), alastor, Blitzo (sometimes), Stolas being clingy, rapist, abusers, people making fun of Charlie, Lucifers neglect of Charlie and 50% percent of everything in hell

BACKGROUND:

Being born in a family of assassins and hitman was never natural or easy and no one knew this better than (y/n), coming from a family with a long line of assassins and hitman ancestors that shaped the world from the shadows, he was trained in a young age to become the greatest of them all, and he did become the greatest with more than a thousand kills per mission, great skill with every weapon in his hands and the agility of a snake he became the world best know hitman/assassin.........but even the greatest must fall: he started questioning his actions, his family and worse his ancestors, fearing for the shame (y/n) might bring to the family they decided to kill him in the most painful way: each member of the family stabbed him from the oldest to youngest, upon his death instead of eternal silence he met with a blood red sky in the shape of a pentagram and around him destroyed building animalistic looking demons from all shapes and sizes but he didn't care where he was all he felt was betrayal, sadness and anger.....so much anger

(AND I'm stopping it here what did you think? Basically I had this idea for a while and decided to write it, also this is gonna be a bisexual harem which will be a first to me also I'm not gonna add those that are already established in relationships like: Charlie and vaggie, moxie and Millie and Lucifer and his wife (mostly because I feel Lucifer deserves no love)


	2. THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT PART 1

Blackness and eternal silence

That's what a lot of people believe they will see when they died but they're believes are far from the truth because there is a heaven and a hell, angels and demons do exist but lately it appears that there are only demons in these dark times, so many in fact that heaven has created some new type of angel to eradicate these demons: the exterminators brutal killing machines with the sole purpose of killing demons every year but lately they haven't been killing much demons and that's because of one annoying, ex-assassin now turned bodyguard:

(Y/N)

In hell:

(You're wearing your casual clothes)

In a semi destroyed alleyway three bodies of exterminators can be seen two are pinned against the wall by a spear going trough their throats and one has been shot so many times in the face that the lower jaw is missing and chunks of brain are plastered agains a corner, one demon holding a revolver with his right arm and having a white left arm in the shape of a demonic claw is looking at two other exterminator still barely alive with one missing an arm holding a spear tired and the other having a bullet wound in his lung looking to almost collapse.

In a flash the demon slashed the exterminator with the bullet wound right in the stomach, grey oily blood starts pouring from the slashes but the exterminator has no time to react since the demon grabs him by the head stabs him in the throat with the claw and with a strong pull takes the head clean off more blood pouring out like a fountain, the one armed exterminator tries to take this chance to end this battle by trusting his spear and praying he stabs you in the head but without seeing the demon ducks throws the head of the exterminator toward the one armed exterminator giving him so weird head butt and shouts him right in the throat the exterminator falls to the floor coughing grey blood and gurgling the demon starts walking toward the still alive exterminator with surprise in his face

(Y/N): holy shit, I know you exterminators are toughbut surviving a bullet to the throat?, man it must hurt like hell........well any last word?

(Y/N) puts his gun at the exterminators face and the extermination is able to spit out

Exterminator: (gurgling and coughing) t.t...this i.is not (wheezes) the e.nd, m...more wi..ll come (spits) a..a.and end y....ou, w..worthless SINNER

(Y/N): (cocks revolver) we'll see my friend

After finally killing the last exterminator (Y/N) turns his claw hand back into a normal pale white hand, holsters his weapon, takes his flat cap off to fix his hair, put the flat cap back on and starts walking away from the alleyway to get to a bar, while walking there in the distance he hears a clock sound meaning

(Y/N): another year, another purge and another group of exterminators.......exterminated

(Y/N) laughs at his own joke and start humming daisy bell but he gets interrupted when he gets a phone call in his hellphone he looks at it and it says:

VAGGIE (frenemy, Charlie's girlfriend and also a bitch)

(Y/N): (confused) what now? (answers call) sup vaggie what do you need?

vaggie: (Y/N) where are you? we are waiting for you

(Y/N): just finished killing some exterminators why? what happened?

vaggie: what do you mean why? We already talked about this........wait? What day do you think it is?

(Y/N): well it purge day or cleanse day or whatever the fuck you wanna call it and in this days I exterminate the exterminators

Vaggie: goddammit........(Y/N) today Charlie reveal the hotel

(Y/N): (stops) hahahahahahahaha no, no vaggie that's tomorrow today we get prepared

Vaggie: no, that was yesterday I already told you this what we're you thinking while I told you about the hotel reveal?

Flashback Yesterday:

(Y/N) POV:

Vaggie: so (Y/N) tomorrow we need to meet here as soon as the purge ends so bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla

(Y/N) mind: the doom guy theme is playing while (Y/N) is seen slaughtering a bunch of exterminators

(Y/N): (excited) RIP AND TEAR

Vaggie: WHAT?

Flashback ends:

(Y/N): ooooooooh...........(realization hits) shit, shit shit, shit, oh fuck vaggie look you guys go I'll meet you there okey? Okey (hangs up) Okey, okey calm down if I steal a car I can make it in time

(Y/N) starts running looking for the fastest car he can find when he notices

(Y/N) mind: is that Travis? Oh that motherfucker owns me

(Y/N): hey Travis

Travis: hm oh hey (Y/N) how it go

Travis couldn't Finnish he's sentence as (Y/N) punched him in the face and dragged him out of the car

(Y/N): sorry Travis but I need this (hits the gas)

Travis: wait, wait, wait it's my wives......car

This was not a good day for Travis first the prostitute he hired insults him, then gets his car stolen what now?

Random Demon: hand up little bitch

Travis: OH COME ONE

(So what did you guys think? sorry if there's grammar errors or spelling mistakes I'm not good at writing in English and also sorry if there's a lot of running in sentence and other thing)


	3. THATS ENTERTAINMENT PART 2

(Y/N) is seen driving the stolen car like a mad men in the streets of hell

(Y/N): GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!

Fat demon: WATCH WERE YOURE GOING FUCK FACE

(Y/N): AT LEAST PEOPLE WANT TO FUCK ME, UNLIKE YOU BAG OF DIABETES

finally after some flawless driving (excluding the 20 demon you ran over, the fact you went trough a mall and at one point broke the law of physics and logic) (Y/N) finally reached his destination: 666 news station and parked his car the way it is done in hell by crashing against a wall hoping the wall stops it and crushing another demon while doing so

(Y/N): (huge sigh of relief) oh dear satan made it just in time

Rapidly getting of the car, drop kicking the security guard and running up where Charlie was, that floor being the top one

(Y/N): (dragging himself) fucking made it in record time

He open the door where the bitch Katie killjoy and Tom trench are talking about a current turf war

****Katie Killjoy:Good afternoon, I'm Katie Killjoy.

****Tom Trench: And I'm Tom Trench! Chaos out at Pentagram City today as a turf war is raging on the west side!

Tom Trench:Between notable kingpin, Sir Pentious, and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse, Cherri Bomb!

Katie Killjoy: That's right, Tom! After the recent extermination, many areas are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!

Tom Trench: Those two seem to be really going at it, huh?

Katie Killjoy: Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail (as she fishes out a tooth and a nail respectively from her mug of coffee) for that hot spot! (Eats tooth and nail)

Tom Trench: (looking over at the live broadcast focusing on Cherri) And I'd sure like to nail _her_ hot spot! (wiggles eyebrows) Hoohoo!

Katie Killjoy: Haha, you are a limpdick jackass Tom! Or should I say - (pours scalding hot coffee onto his crotch) no dick?

Tom Trench: (curls over in pain) Ugh...not again!

Katie Killjoy: Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell's own head honcho who's here to discuss her brand new passion project! All that and more, after the break! (crushes her mug in her hand and turns to Trench who's still in pain) Suck it up, you little bi-!

Seeing Katie pouring hot coffee on the crotch of Tom made every male grab their crotches for any chance that this crazy bitch tries doing the same thing to them

(Y/N): Goddamn third degree burns guaranteed

(Y/N) turns his head towards we're the guest go we're vaggie was giving Charlie some sort of pep talk and razzle and dazzle were hoarding all the donuts

Vaggie: okey, you remember what to say?

Charlie: (deep sigh) YES

(Y/N) sneaks up on Charlie hugging her from behind, lifting her up and twirling

(Y/N): HEY, How my favorite princes of hell doing?

Charlie turns around with a big smile on her adorable face

Charlie: (exited) (Y/N) you made it

(Y/N): of course I did I wouldn't miss this for anything in the nine circles of hell

But this happy sibling like moment is broken when vaggie turns (Y/N) around looking like she's gonna murder someone

Vaggie: (angry) WHERES YOURE SUIT?

(Y/N) sighs annoyed for this but snaps his fingers changing his casual clothing to his suite that he wears for bodyguard business

(Y/N): (annoyed) THERE, HAPPY?

Vaggie and (Y/N) have a quick stare down that brakes when they both see Charlie looking at them with a very unhappy look kinda like chastising them without words

(Y/N): soooooo what did I miss?

Vaggie: I'm giving notes to Charlie on what to do 

Vaggie explains while fixing Charlie's bow tie that (Y/N) quickly takes a picture of the moment which he will print and paste it in his album called: CHARLIE X VAGGIE MOMENTS which is not creepy at all even if he already has a wedding plan and has more than 10 backup plans in case something backfires also if you see the album know that: you will die.....again 

Charlie does an exasperated sigh for vaggie's overprotective nature 

Charlie: (exasperated but still happy) come on vaggie I know what to say, I just feel like we need to (fumbling for words) I don't know make things sound more exiting (idea) oooooooooooooh what if I....

Already knowing what Charlie is gonna say (Y/N) and vaggie interrupt her 

(Y/N)/Vaggie: sign a song about it? 

Charlie: (playfully) you know I was gonna say that 

And Charlie gives vaggie a cute boop in the nose that (Y/N) again takes a quick picture off

Vaggie: that's because I know you but please don't singthis is serious

(Y/N): as much as I hate to admit it but the angry lesbian is right kiddo

While vaggie stared angry at (Y/N), Charlie without a care in the world claimed a the table were the donuts were

Charlie: well you guys know I'm better at explaining at expressing myself and my goals trough song

Vaggie: but life isn't a musical

Charlie quickly fetched a piece of paper from her suit still excited

Charlie: but I have these other ideas, (excited) I highlighted the best part

(Y/N) snatches the paper and tells vaggie very unenthusiastically

(Y/N): literally everything is highlighted.......even the title (looks at paper again) what's this weird drawing about?

Charlie gets really close to (Y/N) and exclaims

Charlie: is the happy ending we're everyone is happy and smiling in heaven

Vaggie: I don't think it's that simple. Just please follow the talking points we went over

Charlie: okey, fiiiine "in a british accent" I'll just have to resort to my impeccable improv skills!

As Charlie started walking towards Katie killjoy to present herself (Y/N) decided to go with her

Charlie: (nervously) hiii I'm Charlie

As Charlie was going for a handshake Katie decided to just glare at them but saw (Y/N) with some lust

(Y/N): (thinking) oh jumping Christ on a trampoline not ten second and I'm already gross out by these bitch

Killjoy: (coldly) Katie killjoy, I'd say is a pleasure to meet you, but that would be a lie And you can put that away. I don't touch the gays. I have standards!

(Y/N) was seriously starting to plot how to murder this annoying pest of a woman for treating his little sister figure like that

Charlie: Yeah...? How's uh... how's that working out for ya?

Katie then goes to poke Charlie in the boob (wait I thought she said she doesn't touch the gays?) but (Y/N) puts in front of Charlie and swats Katie's hand

(Y/N): (angry) try to do that again and I will rip you're hand and make you eat it

Instead of looking scared Katieactually looked more turned on by this rather than scared

Katie: (seductive) well honey how about you ditch the girl and I can give you a more private interview?

But because (Y/N) is already in a relationship (well more like a weird harem situation) he respond with

(Y/N): I would rather fuck a blender and I bet it would be a hundred times more pleasurable than fucking you and whatever kind of hell mouth you have downstairs

Now obviously Katie was not happy with what (Y/N) said

Katie: WHY YOU PIECE OF..........

But before she could continue she got Interrupted by a crew member

Crew member: And we're live!

Killjoy got to her seat so fast she actually broke her neck before readjusting herself, while Charlie and (Y/N) took their seats but Charlie was more nervous for having the spotlight on her

Katie Killjoy: Welcome back! So, Charlotte!

Charlie: It's... Charlie.

Katie Killjoy: Whatever. Tell us about this new passion project you've been insistently pestering our news station about!

Charlie looked towards vaggie who told her to keep going and (Y/N) put his hand reassuringly in Charlie's shoulder

Charlie: as most of you know, I was born here in Hell and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everyone around me. Hell is my home and you are my people. We... we just went through another extermination.

Vaggie is seen giving Charlie two thumbs up as Killjoy quickly starts to lose interest and then falls sleep because she's a bitch

Charlie: We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. No one is even given a chance! I can't stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence! So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? (she walks around the audience) Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption? (throws her arm around one of the News Cast's staff members) Well, I think yes! So that's what this project aims to achieve! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!

Her broadcast is being shown at The Radio Shack, which many other demons are also watching by the streets and everywhere else in Hell

Charlie: (starts to lose her confidence) Y'know? 'Cause hotels are for people passin' through... temporarily...

But no one was neither excited or happy or any sort of emotion that Charlie expected but of course there were a bunch of demons that were very vocal on what they thought of her idea

Some asshole: Ahahaha! IS this girl for real?! She thinks (tries to hold in his laughter) You hear what she thinks?! She thi- HAHA! Ah, she's nuts. (walks out of The Kaiju Klub with his friends)

Charlie: I think it'll serve a purpose... a place to work toward redemption... yay...!

Now with the demons watching the news some already leaving we see a mysterious demon (you already know who he is but I'm trying to keep the tension) watching with a lot of interest

Back with Charlie the crew was already being very vocal with what they thought of Charlie's idea

Cameraman: (snickers) Stupid bitch

Vaggie hearing the camera man punches him square in the face and (Y/N) sneakily stabs the camera man with his claws killing him permanently and sending his soul to probably a void of darkness or some sort other hell 

Charlie: Look, every single one of you has something good, deep down inside. I know you do! ...Maybe I'm not getting through to you

Razzle, dazzle and (Y/N) are alerted that Charlie will start singing and might need help

Vaggie: (facepalms) oh no

Charlie snaps her fingers and a piano appears (somehow) and while razzle and dazzle go towards it to play it but (Y/N) beats them to it by literally throwing a bunch of sweets he has just in case and while they are busy eating them (Y/N) puts John Lennon like sunglasses and starts playing the piano like a fucking pro and the song begins

(yeah sorry but I’m not gonna add the song sorry go to YouTube and watch it it pretty beautiful)

Charlie ends the song, rather exhausted as everyone in the news station looks at her with disgust and disbelief

Grey Demon: Wow! (turns to his demonic form) ...That was shit!

Those were the last words of that demon since he got shot by (Y/N) I'm the head but the demons were busy laughing at Charlie to notice

Everyone in the audience including Killjoy and Trench begin to laugh at Charlie. Charlie looks crushed and devastated and slumps back down to her seat. There was a boo section in the news and the demons look uninterested

Blue Flame Demon: (deadpan) Boo.

(Y/N) also shot this bastard but the difference was he shot him twice one in the head and the second in the balls

Katie Killjoy: What in the Nine Circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?! You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to good?! Just... because?!

Charlie: Well, we have a patron already, who believes in our cause and he's shown incredible progress!

Katie Killjoy: (feigns shock) Oh? And who might that be?

Charlie: (tries to look smug and confident) Oh, just someone named... Angel Dust!

Tom Trench: The porn star

(Y/N): (thinking) and my sorta lover/boyfriend

Katie Killjoy: You fucking would, Tom! (turns back to Charlie) In any case, that's not even an accomplishment. I'm sure you could get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube (motions doing a handjob)

Charlie: Oh, I beg to differ! (begins to count on her fingers) He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now.

News Staff: Breaking News!

Killjoy shoves Charlie off her desk and (Y/N) was about to shoot her but Charlie stopped him

Katie Killjoy: We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let's go to the live feed.

The live feed shows Angel Dust stepping on an Egg Boi and throwing a grenade over at Sir Pentious with visible laughter in the background as Charlie stares at the screen in defeat

Charlie: Oh, shit

But before they can continue slandering Charlie the did out of nowhere cut off

Katie: (pissed off) WHO DID THAT

After some gunshot everyone turns towards (Y/N) who is seeing reloading he's revolver with a bunch of destroyed equipment with slash marks all over them and some dead crew members most of their organs looking like ornaments on the walls, ceiling and floor 

(Y/N): (calmly) I did

Katie: (in her demonic form) WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

(Y/N): (fearless and fixing his tie) me? I'm the best Goddamn bodyguard that the nine circles of hell will ever see and my job is to protect the princess of hell from anyone or anything from physical or emotional harm even if it means killing all (demonic voice) **OF YOU**

Everyone stays silent from the massive threat that this supposed bodyguard just did and a very calm and uninterested (Y/N) turns towards Charlie and vaggie

(Y/N): girls go and get the limo and I will go for angel and make sure he doesn't get in more trouble, Godspeed my friends

(Y/N) grabs two bodies of the dead crew members throws one towards a window breaking it and before he uses the other one he turns towards Tom

(Y/N): oh and Tom

Tom: yeah?

(Y/N): if you keep getting treated like a bitch you're balls will never grow (winks towards him) poker next month?

Tom: (sad) yeah sure

(Y/N): well ladies and gentlemen this is all the time I have today (gives them the middle finger and jumps trough the broken window with the corpse) FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

(Annnnnnd I'm ending it there holly shit that was long, so guys good news I no longer have exams bad news my parents already want me to see universities like as soon as I finished the exams but while I have free time I will try to spend my time writing and exercising because I don't wanna die of a heart attack so things I wanna clear up:

1) you already knew of Katie's existence but never meet her in person

2) I'm watching seton academy and dorohedoro from animeFLV but apparently the serviceable gonna close or no longer gonna be free which worries me

3) the claw and the revolver you have can kill demons permanently and were they go I will call the second death or the void

Well that's all for now see you all in another story BYE BYE)


	4. THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT PART 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short interruption: 
> 
> ( matrixdexter: Hey guys it's me I realize I didn't mention your height, we don't exactly have correct heights of the Hazbin hotel characters but you're the same height as Charlie witch means you reach angel dust's fluffy chest. Well that was all, what do you think John Cleese?
> 
> John Cleese is seen sitting in a desk in the middle of a beach with a suit on and a script in his hands 
> 
> John Cleese: and now for something completely different) 
> 
> End of interruption

After crashing to the ground with the crew member's dead body cushioning the fall there was a decent looking crater on the street but the idea of using a dead body to cushion a fall sounded better on (Y/N)'s head as the dead body did nothing except explode covering (Y/N) on blood

(Y/N): Holy shit that stings aaaaah man I hope at least it looked cool

Then after dusting himself of any dust, rock pieces or blood left in his suite he started looking towards wherever angel was (which is in the direction of explosives and gunshots) but he notices how there was also a closed bar in the opposite direction: the most difficult choice in (Y/N)'s afterlife needed to be made

(Y/N): (scratching his chin furiously) one bottle wouldn't hurt right?

But little did (Y/N) know that it would be more than one bottle

(Time skip brought by DRUGS: they are very good)

Cherri: Heyyy, thanks for the backup, Angie!

Angel: Hahaha! (throws grenade) You kiddin'? This is the best action I've seen in ages! (puts hands behind his head)

Cherri: (launching another cherry bomb) Where've you been, anyway? I thought you up and died or some shit.

Angel: (lighting a bomb and handing it to her) Oh, I wish! I've been staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town. Some broads are lettin' me stay rent-free if I play nice.

They both cover their heads as the explosion sets off behind them, then grin at each other as they jump into the field.

Angel: (continues to shoot The Egg Bois alongside Cherri as he sighs) Y'know, no fights, no pranks, no "problematic language"... Her words, not mine. (steps on a broken tile, launching an Egg Boi airborne and shoots him from behind as he sighs again) These crazy bitches are no fun! I've been clean for two weeks!

Cherri: (in disbelief, smiling) Holy shit!

While Cherri was still in disbelief of Angel's (kinda) clean act 6 egg Bois were able to surround them and take them by surprise but the sound of gunshots and four egg Bois exploding out of nowhere, angel dust and Cherri bomb turn their heads from were the gunshots came of seeing their boyfriend/lover (Y/N) now in his casual clothes with smoke coming from the barrel of his gun while also drinking of a bottle of vodka, he twirls he's gun and holsters it in his pants and stops drinking for a moment

(Y/N): (little bit drunk) sorry for spoiling the party but looks like these two beauties needed help with some very nasty eggs

The two remaining egg bois tried in a desperate attempt to tackle (Y/N) as a last ditch effort to at least beat one of their bosses enemies but (Y/N) takes of his flat cap and with the razors in the flat cap cuts them perfectly in half, then he throws his hat in the air and does a front flip towards Angel and Cherri with his hat falling perfectly in his head

(Y/N): sup?

Angels and Cherri's surprised faces quickly changed to loving smiles seeing their boyfriend/lover with angel walking towards him and hugging (Y/N) putting his face in his fluffy chest

Angel:(happy and seductively) A (Y/N) baby my knight in shining armor I knew you would to help me in my times of need

While Angel was in perverted lalaland (Y/N) was in a life or death struggle with Angel's fluffy chest while he enjoys resting his head there because of how comfortable it is doesn't mean he wants to be suffocated by it

(Y/N): (muffled) angel, let go I can't fucking breath

After waking up from his perverted daydreaming Angel quickly let's go of his boyfriend whose face is more red than usual and coughing since his lungs could finally take some air

Angel: (adorably) I'm sowwy

(Y/N): (calm) it's okey honey

(Y/N) gets on his tiptoes gives Angel a quick peck in the lips that suddenly gets even more hotter when Angel grabs (Y/N)'s face and starts making out with him, while surprised at first (Y/N) tries to fight angel for domination but this fight is interrupted by a very jealous Cherri bomb that felt left out

Charri: (jealous) HEY, no fair Angie I want some love too

Cherri wastes no time in ripping (Y/N) from Angel Dust's arms and starts making out with him and another tongue battle begins but is also interrupted by a very flamboyant and kinda serpentine voice

???: (grossed out) you pervents disssssgust me!!!

Out of fucking nowhere chains appears and restrained a very distracted Angel Dust that gets lifted in the air and slammed in the ground

Angel Dust: (jokingly) Ohh~, harder, daddy!

???: (shocked) SON??!!!

The very shocked person is Sir Pentious a very 60's style villain that is a snake demon,that also has a very weird love for machines and is Cherri Bomb's current turf war rival

Sir Pentious was quickly kicked by a very calm (Y/N) that is clearly not taking the situation seriously

(Y/N): sup, Pentious how you doing?

Sir Pentious: (angry) Grrrrr I wasssss doing fine until this whores with no classsssss decided to show up! Everyone knows that in war the side with more ssssstyle is remember (adjust his tie)

Cherri bomb: or the side that ain't dead (decapitates an egg boi)

Angel dust: (getting up and removing the chains that restrain him) speaking of style, is your hat like alive or something?

(Y/N): (curious) that's actually a good question since I have literally never seen you without it, does it protect your brain or is it like a second head?

Sir Pentious: Oh! Well, that's none of your GOD DAMN BUSSSSSSSSINESS! Now, is it?

Angel Dust: Hah, would that make your hat the top and you the bottom?

(Y/N): (laughing) ROASTED!

Behind sir Pentious theres a sing pointing towards him saying "loser" while a couple of egg Bois looked shock of how badly their boss got burned

Sir Pentious: (Enrage) I'm gonna blow you all to bitssssss!

(Y/N): (joking) sorry I'm taken

Angel dust: (flirty) Hm, kinky

Sir Pentious: (disgusted) Oh, not like that perverts!

As they keep making perverted jokes and kinda making fun of sir Pentious they didn't notice an egg boi get behind them with a really grotesque gun that looked to be metal fused with flesh and blood and the barrel looked to be a mouth with sharp teeth

(Interruption: Is there an actual weapon like this?)

While taking aim, (Y/N) noticed that Sir Pentious started smiling quickly turning around and noticing the egg boi and how it was mostly aiming at Angel Dust and Cherri Bomb, thinking fast (Y/N) pushes them out of the way while the egg boi pushes the trigger making the disgusting gun shoot a weird green liquid that as soon as it made contact with (Y/N)'s body it started melting his flesh, making his bones visible and make him lose a lot of blood

(Y/N): (angry) Oh you motherfucker, it's gonna take a whole day to regenerate all this

Said (Y/N) while shooting the egg boi with his two remaining bullets 

Angel dust and Cherri bomb get to (Y/N)'s side with clear worry on their faces due to their boyfriend/lovers injuries

Angel dust: (while holding his hand) sweetcakes are you okey? Do you need anything? DONT GO TOWARDS THE ETERNAL DARKNESS

(Y/N): (calmly) it's okey love, regeneration powers remember? Lucifer's gifts?

Cherri bomb: (while caressing (Y/N) hair) yes chill out Angie we know that (Y/N) can take it but seriously don't you ever scare us like this again or I'm gonna make you my bitch for a week!!!!!

(Y/N): (scared) o....okey Cherri sorry for scaring you (kisses her hand nervously)

Angel dust stands up with anger and determination in his eyes as he takes his Tommy guns and aims them at Sir Pentious

Angel dust: (angry) nobody is allowed to hurt my handsome and delicious boyfriend without me having a say in the matter!!!!!

Cherri follows Angel's and takes two bombs and prepares to throw them against Sir Pentious

Cherri: (angry) only IM aloud to hit him when we get gross in bed

Angel: (looks at Cherri) let's do this sugar tits (while charging) FOR OUR BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!

And just like that Cherri and Angel dust charge towards Sir pentious to defend the honor of their current hurt boyfriend that is still losing blood and guts

They are about to clash into a battle of epic proportions that will probably shake hell itself and will be felt around the afterlife, I bet that this battle would be amazing to witness and even described.........but we don't have time for this bullshit so time skip

(Time skip brought to you by: TAX EVASION: pretty fun)

We see Charlie's beautiful limousine driving back to the hotel while a sad Charlie is hugging her knees, Vaggie stares daggers into Angel Dust, (Y/N) is laying on the limousines chair hoping his stomach regenerates quickly and Angel Dust is just amusing himself by messing around with the limousine window while also stroking (Y/N)'s hair

Charlie: (sad sigh)

Vaggie: (eye twitches while glaring at Angel)

(Y/N): (pokes his organs and bones) ha gross

Angel dust: (still fucking around with the window and stroking (Y/N)'s hair until he notices Vaggie glaring at him) what?

Vaggie:(really angry) "what?","WHAT?!" What were you thinking (rips her hair)

Angel Dust: (sighs) I owed my girl buddy a solid! Isn't that a "redeeming quality"? Helping friends with stuff? (rolls eyes)

Vaggie: Not with turf wars that result in territorial genocide!

Angel Dust: Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred. Ehahahahahah! (proceeds to play with the car window button) It wasn't that bad, anyway. (almost gets hit with a knife thrown his way) Aw, come on! I had to! My credibility was on the line! I mean, what kind of reputation would I have if people found out I was tryna go clean? It just throws out my entire persona! (suggestively wiggles chest floof)

Vaggie: Your credibility? What about the hotel's?! (gestures at Charlie) Your little stunt made us look like a fucking joke!

(Y/N) finally stand up holding his guts that were falling out tired of this dumb fight

(Y/N): (tired) look we may have taken a stumble but look at the good side I took out the cameras before they could slander us any further, I threaten kill joy and made all of the news station look like cowards, (proud) if I'm allowed to say it, I would say today was a major success

Vaggie looks at Charlie worried

Vaggie: (nervous) a-actually (Y/N) we have a problem

(Y/N) stares at vaggie and then at Charlie confused and looking for answers in his little sister like figure

Charlie: covering her face with her face) after you jumped out the window, killjoy and me got into an argument one thing led to another one and we fought, I lost and she said that she was gonna use the camera footage in the news when she finds new equipment and a new staff

(Y/N) slumped towards the seats covering his face with his hands at the realization that they were humiliated and that there was a chance that Lucifer will take his anger and punish him for the humiliation

(Y/N): (slowly and sad) fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Angel while worried about his boyfriend still pretended not to care about the hotel

Angel dust: (while searching for licor) besides I didn't make you look like a joke, jokes are funny! I mean you look... uh, sad! And pathetic! Like an orphan... with no arms... or legs... Oh! With progeria! Great! Now I'm bummed thinkin' about it! (Frustrated) This thing have any liquor?

(Y/N) robotically and still slumped in the seats reaches inside his vest and gives angel a bottle of tequila he was saving but not before taking a swing of it to calm down

Angel dust: (happily) takes honey

Says angel dust and kisses (Y/N) in the cheek as a way to thank him calming him down even more

Vaggie: Can you please just try to take this seriously?

Angel Dust: (takes a drink of the bottle) Fine, I'll try. Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby! (snaps finger at her while smiling)

Vaggie: Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?!

Angel Dust: (groans) Whatever pisses you off more.

(Y/N): (sadly) ha

Vaggie about to lose her mind sits down next to Charlie and crosse he arms while staring daggers at Angel dust

Vaggie: (serious) I'm gonna kill 'em

Angel Dust: Too late, toots. Wait! Would that make me double dead? Hah, and where exactly do I go? To Double Hell? Hahahaha! Sorry, you're stuck with me, bitch. Get used to it (folds arms confidently).

Vaggie: (angrily, as she grits her teeth) Come mierda malparido!

Angel Dust: Listen, who cares if some jack-offs got hurt? Most of 'em are ugly freaks. Look around! (looks out the limousine window, smirking) You got a bunch a fuckin' harlequin-looking babies down here!

Vaggie: You're one to talk. (smiles smugly)

Angel Dust: Hey! (motions to his body) This body is flawless! Everyone wants summa me, (jiggles chest fluff and takes out a letter) and I've got the creepy fan letters to prove it!

(Y/N) is brought back from his state of depression when angel mentions the creepy fan letter

(Y/N): (worried) he didn't hurt you did he?

Angel dust: (calm) don't worry baby is just creepy fan letter with horrifying undertones of obsession and probably future stalker

While (Y/N) and angel discus what to do with the creepy fan letter and (Y/N) even offering to assassinate the guy vaggie is still staring daggers at angel hoping that kills him

Vaggie: Grrr...

Charlie: That was really uncool, y'know, Angel.

Vaggie: "Uncool"? After that train-wreck, there is no way anyone is gonna wanna stay at the hotel! (looks toward Angel Dust) All thanks to (points at him) you and your selfish bullshit!

Angel and (Y/N) stop talking about the creepy guy and angel realizes something important

Angel Dust: Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore?

Vaggie: (motions "What do you think?")

Angel Dust: (snaps finger) Ah, well shucks.

(Y/N): down worry, you can sleep in my room

Angel dust: (lustfull) ~ooh just you and me in a room? Yeah I like the sound of that imagine all the "things" we could do

While (Y/N) starts thinking the most wild and perverted things he wanted to do, Angel dust is whispering various dirty ideas into (Y/N)"s ear and vaggie was still plotting angels murder only Charlie noticed that they arrived and interrupts them while also trying to calm vaggie

Charlie: Hey, come on. (takes off jacket) We don't know if things are over yet! Try to relax, Vaggie. (puts a hand on Vaggie's shoulder) I-it'll be okay!

Finally they all get off the limousine and enter the hotel

Vaggie: (throws herself on the couch, facing the wall) Ugh!

While vaggie is in the couch (Y/N) follows angel towards the fridge to see what food they have

Angel Dust: (rummages through the fridge leaning by the wall and grabbing a box of Popsies and notices Charlie looking sad and tries to make a joke) Eh, it's probably a good idea to get some actual food in this place. Y'know, to feed all the wayward souls you got in here! Ahahaha! Ahaha...! eh... ah...

(Y/N) puts his hand in angel shoulder and shakes his head no while Charlie takes her cellphone out and goes outside to make a call

Charlie: (sighs) Hey, mom. I know I keep calling and you must be busy... Really busy... But, um, the interview didn't go well, (shrinks to her knees) and... I don't know if I'm ever going to make a difference (starts tearing up as she wipes it off her face). I don't know what I'm doing. I could really use some advice, mom. I... I think dad was right about me... Ahah, oof, eh, anyway... (wipes her face once more)I'll stop talking before this gets long. (stands up) Love you, bye...

What she didn't know was that (Y/N) was listening and goes outside to see Charlie still on the floor crying

(Y/N): (softly) hey come here

(Y/N) softly putts his left hand on charlie's shoulder and slowly grabbing her right hand to lift her

(Y/N): (calm) look at me

Charlie looks at (Y/N) and he gives her a warm smile

(Y/N): you are perfect, don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise because they are jealous of what amazing things you could and angry that they could never be as perfect as you (gives Charlie a hug)

After a while of hugging and Charlie stopped crying thanks to (Y/N)'s kind words they went inside the hotel again

(Y/N) grabs Charlie by the shoulder

(Y/N): I'm gonna go to my room and check my bullets, are you gonna by alright?

Charlie flashes a smile towards (Y/N)

Charlie: (kinda happy) yeah I'm gonna be okey for now, thanks (Y/N)

(Y/N): (happy) I'll always be there if you need anything, okey?

Charlie: okey

(Y/N) walks away towards he's room while Charlie's smile drops a little while staring at (Y/N) leaving towards his room, she slumps in defeat when she can no longer see her brother figure , she's ready to give up, ready to throw the towel.....................

BUT there's a sudden knock at the door surprising her............

(AND IM GONNA STOP IT RIGHT THERE!!!!!!. What did you guys think did you like it?, did you hate it?, did it make you want blow you're brains out?

Also I'm sorry for all the spelling mistakes and run on sentences maybe one day I'll do a rewrite but not today. So see you guys in the next chapter when I release it

GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


	5. THATS ENTERTAINMENT FINAL PART

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The author matrixmadness can be seen on top of a mountain and very dramatically turns around to talk to you
> 
> Matrixmadness: Well we're here, we made it, we suffered trough cringy dialogue, a lot of spelling mistakes, writers block and autocorrect ruining my day: we arrived to THE FINAL CHAPTER.......for now
> 
> Matrixmadness starts laughing like a mad man and jumps from the mountain towards the end of this cringy intro)

While walking towards his room after giving Charlie some words of encouragement, (Y/N) felt that his phone was ringing quickly taking his phone out of his pants and looks at the screen:

BLITZO (the o is silent, second "unofficial" boss, kinda weird, kinda creepy, future father-in-law)

(Y/N): hey blitzy, what do you need?

Blitzo: (annoyed) goddammit (Y/N) did Stolas put you up to this shit as well?

(Y/N): not exactly but I heard him call you that so many times I thought: "why not start calling him that just to piss him off?"

Blitzo: you know what never mind, I don't care anymore, what I actually called you for is that tonight we are gonna have a meeting

(Y/N): why something happened?

Blitzo: we'll talk about it in the meting, just show up in time

(Y/N): okey talk to you later future father in law

While hanging up (Y/N) realized two things: 1) he's torso is completely healed and 2) he finally arrived at his Room that is also next to the garage where they put the limo also the room number is 0451

Despite being bodyguard of Charlie daughter of the rulers of hell (Y/N)'s room is nothing special it just has:

A king sized bed

a wardrobe where he hides his shrine of the cutest couples like vaggie x Charlie and moxxie x Millie and also is not creepy at all

A hanging rack for his hat and vest

a gun rack with various firearms and even a doble bladed chainsaw

a safe with various important object

A fridge filled with booze

some poisonous plants that Stolas gave to (Y/N) as a gift

A workbench were he crafts his angelic bullets

And finally a bathroom

(Y/N) goes towards the safe putting the code, and checks that everything is in it correct place for example: an album named Charlie x Vaggie, a picture with Charlie in it and most importantly a lot of cash, after making sure that everything is in its correct place (Y/N) goes towards his workbench, opens a cupboard, reloads his revolver and takes some bullets and puts them in his vest but notices how he has less bullets but before making the decision on making more bullets (Y/N) gets a felling about Charlie and feels that he's gonna need to tell her about leaving for some time

So the bullet problem is gonna be for future (Y/N) since his gotta protect Charlie, (Y/N) gives a very loud sigh, opens his refrigerator and grabs a bottle of tequila, goes out of his room and starts slowly walking towards Charlie

Meanwhile with Charlie:

While (Y/N) was on his way towards Charlie , Charlie was dealing with a more serious matter since the person that knocked on her door was the one and only, the most charismatic and terrifying demon in hell: Alastor aka the radio demon and I know what you're asking why is he here well that the odd thing, Alastor wants to help with the hotel

Charlie: (confused and scared) Say what now?

Alastor: (repeats himself) Help! Hahaha, hello? Is this thing on? (taps on his mic) Testing, testing!

Alastor's Mic: (opens its eye) Well I heard you loud and clear!

Charlie: (still confused) Um, you want to help? With...?

Alastor: (teleports behind the two with his shadow) This ridiculous thing you're trying to do! This hotel! I want to help you run it.

Charlie: Buuut... why?

Alastor: Hahaha, why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom! I've lacked inspiration for decades. My work became mundane, lacking focus, (shoves Vaggie) aimless! I've come to crave a new form of entertainment! Hahaha!

Charlie: Does getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment...?

Alastor: Hahaha! It's the purest kind, my dear: Reality! True passion! After all, the world is a stage and the stage is a world of entertainment.

Charlie: (hopeful) So does this mean you think it's possible to rehabilitate a demon?

Alastor: Hahahahaha! (shakes hand in front of her) Of course not! That's wacky nonsense! (shakes head back and forth) Redemption, oh the non-existent humanity! No no no no, I don't think there's anything left that could save such loathsome sinners! (looks over to Vaggie who is offended and Angel who just shrugs) The chance given was the life they lived before, the punishment is this! (puts his arms out, gesturing the entirety of Hell) There is no undoing what is done!

Charlie: So then, why do you wanna help me if you don't believe in my cause?

Alastor: Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! (pulls Charlie close to him and twirls her) I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure!

Charlie: (removes his hand from her back) Riiiight.

Alastor: Yes, indeedy! (grabs her by the waist and drags her offscreen) I see big things coming your way and who better to help you than I? (trails off)

Angel Dust: (confused) Uh, so... uh, what's the deal with Smiles over there?

Vaggie: Wait, you've never heard of him before? You've been here longer than me!

Angel Dust: (shrugs)

Vaggie: The Radio Demon. One of the most powerful beings Hell has ever seen?

Angel Dust: (shrugs again) Eh, not big on politics.

Vaggie: Ugh! (leans in on Angel Dust as she begins her story) Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell

But before Vaggie can continue her tale (or exposition) she was interrupted by the entrance of one loudmouth bodyguard

(Y/N) hey Charlie I need to tell you someth.....

(Y/N) stopped talking and stood in shock after seeing the radio demon inside the hotel right next to Charlie and Alastor was quite the same while he still was bearing his iconic smile his eyes shined with a bit of shock seeing (Y/N) someone he thought had perished a long time ago

(Y/N) narrows his eyes and starts walking towards Alastor with a scowl on his face

(Y/N): (angry) well looked who finally decided to get out of his radio station, what happened friend finally realized that no one likes your radio show?

Now it was Alastor's turn to be angry even if he still was smiling in his eyes you could see a man ready to destroy everything

Alastor: well if it isn't Lucifer's new lap dog tell me old bud how is it feel to be under the thumb of someone else?

And then they started glaring at one another if looks could killed Alastor and (Y/N) would be dead right on the spot just to revive and die again but this intense stare down was broken by (Y/N)

(Y/N): Pfffffffffffff hahahahahahahahahahaha oh man that was fun, how I missed you Alastor how you doing?

Very quickly Alastor gives (Y/N) a one arm hug while (Y/N) gives Alastor some pats in the back while laughing and talking about random stuff while Vaggie and Charlie watch slacked jaw while angel watches kinda jealous

Charlie: (confused) w-w-wait (Y/N) you know Alastor?

(Y/N) (happily) yeah, he was kinda the second person in hell that I actually liked

Vaggie: (Angry) and it never crossed you're mind to TELL US?

(Y/N): I didn't think it was that important

While Vaggie continue yelling at (Y/N) they were quickly interrupted by Alastor who puts a hand in (Y/N)

Alastor: as hilarious it is to see two coworkers fighting I would like to continue talking to miss Charlie about my business opportunity

(Y/N): (shrugs) yeah sure we can catchup later

(Y/N) mentions while walking towards the sofa that angel is sitting on with vaggie following him while glaring at Alastor and they seat down where angel decidedly to brake the ice

Angel: (kinda jealous) so wats the deal with you and smiles?

(Y/N) there's no need to be jealous angel sweetie my relationship with Alastor is purely professional with some feelings of friendship sprinkled in it (kisses angel in the cheek)

Vaggie: (curious) soooo how do you know Alastor?

(Y/N): that's a good story........... for another time

Vaggie: but you could tell me right now

(Y/N): oh yes I could tell you about my lowly beginnings as a new demon and how I meet the infamous radio demon..............but I won't

Vaggie: (sighs) can I continue telling angel about Alastor?

(Y/N): you mean exposition? Yeah sure I don't care

While (Y/N) rests his head in angels fluffy chest Vaggie starts telling the legend of Alastor aka the radio demon

Vaggie: (dramatic voice) Vaggie: seemingly overnight. He began to topple Overlords who have been dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his carnage all throughout Hell just so everyone could witness his ability. Sinners started calling him "The Radio Demon" (as lazy as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing's for sure: He's an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can't risk getting involved with unless we want to end up erased!

Angel Dust: Ya done? (Laughs dryly) He looks like a strawberry pimp.

(Y/N): (giggles) maybe but he is powerful

Vaggie: Well, I don't trust him!

Angel Dust: To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?

(Y/N): (glaring at vaggie) Hey that's true I been working with you for centuries and you still don't trust me

The only thing (Y/N) received in return was a glare by vaggie that was quickly broken when they'd noticed Charlie walking towards them and Alastor watching with curiosity and amusement

Vaggie: (grabs Charlie by the shoulder) Charlie, listen to me. You can't believe this creep! He isn't just a happy face! He's a deal maker! Pure evil! He can't be redeemed! ...And is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we're trying to do!

Charlie: I... (sighs) we don't know that! Look, I know he's bad, and I know he probably doesn't wanna change, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance! and he knows (Y/N) so that may be a plus!

They both look towards Alastor and he appears to be inspecting a portrait of The Magne Family but (Y/N) decides to join their conversation

(Y/N): (serious) look yes I do know Alastor before I met you guys, sorry for keeping that a secret and yes you may or may not call me and Alastor friends and also yes Alastor is really powerful and dangerous but he has something we don't: respect and influence (looks at Charlie) now Charlie don't get me wrong but the only reason demons listen to you is because you're father is Lucifer and they clearly don't respect you but they respect Alastor, heck I think there's people that even worship him but my point is that we might need him but whatever you choose I will stand by you're side

Charlie looks at (Y/N) with a grateful smile and then looks at vaggie for her input on the situation

Vaggie: as much as I hate to admit it (Y/N) MIGHT be right but I just feel you shouldn't do this Charlie

Charlie: (worried) but I can't do that vaggie, it goes against everything I'm trying to build. Everything I'm trying to do. Everything I believe in (puts hands on Vaggie's shoulders) Just... trust me. I can take care of myself!

Vaggie: (reluctant) fine......But whatever you do, do NOT make a deal with him Charlie, okey?

Charlie: Don't worry, I picked up one thing from my dad! (imitating her dad's voice) You don't take shit from other demons!" (walks off to where Alastor is)

Okay, so, Al. You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke.

As Charlie turns away, glowing red symbols start to appear beside Alastor which quickly disappear after Charlie turns back to Alastor

Charlie: But I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no... (makes gestures with hands) tricks or voodoo strings attached.

Alastor rolls his eyes at that last statement, he twirls his mic staff and presents his hand for a handshake as green energy bursts throughout the hotel

Alastor: So, it's a deal, then?

Charlie: (refusing his handshake) Nope! No shaking! No deals! I... hmm... As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel. For as long as you desire.

A howling wolf can be heard in the background as Charlie looks over to Vaggie and (Y/N) for approval

Charlie: Sound fair?

Alastor: (rubs his chin) Hmm...(retracts his mic staff) Fair enough!

(Y/N): (excited) HELL YEAH ALASTOR AND (Y/N) BACK IN ACTION BITCH WOHO

While everyone is distracted by (Y/N)'s yelling random stuff Alastor is quick to notice something interesting

Alastor: (curious) Charlie my dear where is your hotel staff?

Charlie: (nervous) uuuuuuh well

Charlie and Alastor look towards a still excited (Y/N), vaggie whose glaring at Alastor and angel sit that is hungrily starring at (Y/N)'s everything

Alastor: (adjusts monocle) Ohohoho, you're going to need more than that. (walks towards Angel Dust) And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?

Angel Dust: I can suck (Y/N)'s dick pretty good and maybe your dick too if you pay, what do you say?

Alastor has a quick moment of shock which no one notice since it's well hidden but (Y/N) is the only one to notice and is broken from his excitement and stares with some jealousy at Angel dust and Alastor

Alastor: Hah! No.

Angel Dust: (scoffs) Your loss, (Y/N) I'm sucking your dick tonight

(Y/N): (fist bumps the air) YES!

Alastor: Well, this just won't do! (takes out his mic staff) I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up.

At the snap of his finger, a new fireplace has replaced the hotel's worn down one as he approaches it and picks up the mysterious figure covered in soot, which then opens its eye and stares at the four behind him

Niffty: (poofs off the soot from her body)

Alastor: This little darling is Niffty!

Niffty: (drops to the floor) Hi, I'm Niffty! It's nice to meet you! It's been a while since I've made new friends! (eyes the four of them till she gets shocked and launches herself towards (Y/N)'s face and begins hugging him) (Y/N) I missed you

(Y/N) meet Niffty when he meet Alastor and while she's very caring with everyone she meets she's extra nice to him and he still doesn't know if Niffty is in love with him or simply sees him as a brother figure

(Y/N): (happy) awww sweet, small innocent little Niffty I missed you too

Niffty: (hyperactive) is so nice to see that you mad a bunch of friends but why are all women? (lifts Charlie) Are there more men in here?! (puts Charlie down) I'm sorry, that's rude. (looks around) Oooh man, this place is filthy! It really needs a lady's touch! (grabs a spider and crushes it) Which is weird because you're all ladies except for (Y/N), no offense. (stares at some dust as she takes out a feather duster) Oh my gosh, this is awful! (she speed cleans throughout the hotel) Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! (spots a cockroach and stabs it with a pin) Nope!

(Y/N): okey no one interrupt her, she's in her cleaning mode right now

While they all stare at Niffty doing her frantic cleaning they hear a voice coming from an unknown demon

Husks: (lays his cards down the table) Hah! Read 'em and weep, boys. Full Ho- (demonic illusions and voices distort the surroundings temporarily) -tel? What the fuck is this? (looks around and spots Alastor, eliciting an angry purr as he points at him) You!

Alastor: Ah, Husker, my good friend! Glad you could make it!

Husk: Don't you "Husker" me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot! (the jackpot dissappears into nothingness)

Alastor: Good to see you too!

Husk: (facepalms angrily) What the hell do you want with me this time...?

Alastor: My friend, I am doing some charity work so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!

Husk: Are you shittin' me?!

Alastor: Hmm... No, I don't think so!

Husk: (shoves Alastor off) You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! (Alastor dusting himself off) You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!

Alastor: (grins as if he's about to laugh) Maybe!

Husk: I ain't doing no fucking charity job.

Alastor: (teleports behind him through his shadow) Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment! (gestures towards the bar he made out of his magic) With your charming smile (pulls Husks's lips into a forced smile) and welcoming energy, this job was made for you! Don't worry my friend, (walks over to the bar, revealing the soles of his shoes to have deer prints) I can make this more welcoming! ...If you wish. (makes a bottle of "Cheap Booze" appear out of nowhere)

Husk: (stares at the booze for a second) What? You think you can buy me with a wink (winks sarcastically) and some cheap booze?! (grabs the booze and looks at it( ...Well, you can! (downs the booze)

Vaggie: Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! No! No bar, no alcohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of mouth, brothel, man cave!

But vaggie is quickly silenced when a very angry (Y/N) tackle Vaggie to the ground glaring at her

(Y/N): (angry) NOW listen here I understand the message and everything but I (points at the bar where Angel was already annoying husk) NEED THIS OKEY? Okey

Then (Y/N) gets up and runs towards the bar where bus greeted by a smirk on husk's face

Husk: ha (Y/N) you're a sight for sore eyes so Alastor dragged you to this nonsense as well? (While serving a bottle of vodka to (Y/N))

(Y/N): no, I was already on this nonsense before you guys

Husk: (confused) wait, What?

(Y/N): tell you later husker

They're catching up is broken when a very excited Charlie decides to greet husk

Charlie: Oh my gosh! Welcome to The Happy Hotel! You are going to love it here! (tries to go for a handshake)

Husk: (reaches for his booze) I lost the ability to love years ago. (continues to down his booze)

Alastor: So, whaddaya think?

Charlie: This is amazing! (rubs her cheeks excitedly)

Vaggie: (with crossed arms) It's... okay.

(Y/N) not gonna lie it feels good to have the group back together

Alastor: (reels the three towards him) Hahaha! This is going to be very entertaining!

Alastor then lets go of Vaggie and summons a fireball, launching it to the hotel ceiling just so he distracts Charlie fast enough for him to shove Vaggie offscreen and (Y/N) tries to laugh at baggies dis fortune and failing. Then He dresses himself and (Y/N) in a tux and matching top hat

(Again in now way I'm writing the whole fricking song so I again wanna thank god that I'm atheist and that there's YouTube)

(PS: By the way imagine you and angel dust dancing or something) 

The hotel door explodes, knocking Niffty offscreen as Charlie, Alastor, Angel Dust, (Y/N) and Vaggie look outside to see Sir Pentious's war ship in all its glory outside the hotel

(Y/N): (uncaringly) sup pentious

Sir Pentious: Hah! Well, well, well. Look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet yet again, Alastor!

Alastor: Do I know you?

Sir Pentious: (ego deflates) Oh, yes you do!(Hood flares open) And this time, I have the element of- (pulls a lever) SURPRISE! Ahaha! I'm so evil!

Alastor snaps his fingers, and an otherworldly dimensional portal opens with tentacles and shadow demons emerging from it, destroying Sir Pentious' ship while he is inside. Alastor can then be seen finishing it off as he clenches his fist with a few drops of blood dripping off his hand. Alastor is then shown grinning menacingly in satisfaction for a moment as the others look at him in shock and horror apart from Niffty who looks happily innocent towards the carnage and (Y/N) who looks mildly annoyed since his seen enough things to traumatized war veterans and psychopaths

Alastor: (breaking the tension) ...Well, I'm starved! Who wants some Jambalaya? My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of Hell! Ohoho, I'm on a roll! Yes, sir! This is the start of some real changes down here!

(Y/N): well as much as I would love to eat you're jambalaya Alastor I cant I have to leave

Everyone stops in their tracks, turn around and volt towards (Y/N)

Charlie: (sad and about to cry) are you leaving me after all the things we did together? I promise I will be a better boss

Vaggie: (angry and pointing a knife at (Y/N)) are you serious after all the trouble we went trough to get this hotel operational and now YOU WANT TO LEAVE 

Alastor: (angry but hiding it) after all this years I suddenly found you and now you want to leave I feel like you're ignoring me (Y/N) and I DiSLikE BeInG IgNorEd

Husk: aww come on Im missing my favorite drinking buddy and now that I find you, you want to leave that's cold

Niffty: (crying) PLEASE DONT LEAVE I PROMISE TO CLEAN EVERYTHING YOU OWN THREE TIMES A DAY

Angel: (crying) BUT WHY I THOUGHT WE WERE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER (gets idea) (Y/N) IM PREGNANT AND YOURE THE FATHER

but (Y/N) just silently stares at them takes his gun and shoots the air shutting all of them up

(Y/N): (long sigh) okey first thing first (to Charlie) you're already a perfect boss don't change anything (to Vaggie) bitch put the knife away before I stab you (to Alastor) I couldn't contact you and I did give up at one point but we will talk about this later (to Husk) dude we can drink latter tonight (to Niffty) Niffty please don't cry and you don't need to clean my stuff il do It mi self (to Angel) angel baby I love you and you know about my thoughts on our polygamy arrangements and you know I'm never do anything to hurt you and also really? That's the best excuse you can come up for me to stay (to everyone) I'm not leaving forever, I'm leaving towards my side job in IMP City I already told you this Charlie

Charlie: (ashamed) oh yeah I totally remember that

(Y/N): I was gonna tell you before but then Alastor appeared and I forgot about it

Charlie: okey then but first say goodbye to everyone and also we'll save some jambalaya for you

After saying goodbye to everyone with hugs (husk, Niffty and Charlie), pats in the shoulder (Alastor and vaggie) and a kiss with tongue and some grouping (angel) (Y/N) left towards his second for its gonna be one helluva day with his HELLUVA BOSS

But before he actually left he decide to check on sir pentious who was luckily still alive

Sir pentious: (groans in pain)

(Y/N): hey pentious sorry for what happened back there but poker next month?

Sir pentious: (groans in acceptance and pain before passing out)

(Y/N): great

And the (Y/N) starts walking towards IMP City for his meeting with his second least favorite boss while walking he decides to start humming daisy bell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AND THATS IT 
> 
> Sorry to keep you waiting guys and gals but I hit writers block for a few days and then out of nowhere I was out of writers block 
> 
> So what did you think did you hate it, did you like it or did it make you wish you were blind because of how terrible it is?
> 
> So like alway sorry for the spelling mistakes, run on sentences and lack of punctuation and comas so sorry for that 
> 
> But see you guys next time with HELLUVA BOSS 
> 
> Se ya soon)


	6. HELLUVA BOSS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The writer can be seen playing an organ piano horribly because he really doesn't know how to play it and then turns around 
> 
> Matrixdexter: sup my friends, welcome to the chapter of helluva boss this chapter is literally gonna be one page only because the episode was really short but don't worry you will still see my horrible writing we're I tried to make a coherent story see ya at the end
> 
> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAH
> 
> After laughing like an idiot the writer decides to actually starts the chapter)

IMP City as the name implies is the home and the city of imp demons, they are considered the lowest of the low in demon ranks they mostly are hired as slaves or as punching bags it's kinda like hells ghetto (can I say this?) with most of the poor coming to IMP City to live in the streets, but (Y/N) doesn't care much for rankings and types of demons for him there's two types of demons:

1) the ones he likes

2) and the ones he will kill

The only reason he comes to IMP City is because of Blitzo he's second annoying (unofficial) boss and proud owner of the Immediate Murder Professionals or I.M.P, was it a coincidence or ironic it doesn't matter and (Y/N) doesn't care also speaking ofI.M.P, (Y/N) finally reached his destination a very tall building with weird horns sprouting of the sides, going through the non existing security and entering a semi destroyed elevator, (Y/N) goes to the seventh floor and enters the door that has written in it: I.M.P headquarters while going in he sees his favorite receptionist

(Y/N): (happy) Loona how's my favorite doggy doing?

(Interruption: again im not gonna describe the characters go watch the episode)

Loona: (growling) I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT

Unfazed (Y/N) just scratches Loona behind the ears making her melt in his hands

(Y/N): (ridiculous voice) whose a good Loona? Whose a good Loona?

Loona: (panting with hearts in her eyes) it's Me, I'm A gOoD LoONa

But their moment was broken by an irritated voice

Blitzo: (irritated) (Y/N) I told you a million times stop flirting with my daughter

(Y/N): (uncaring) don't worry future father in law i was just having some fun (serious voice while still petting loona) so why did you call me here blitzy?

Blitzo: (angry) stop calling me that and the reason I called you is because we are kinda having business problems

(Y/N): that bad?

Blitzo: yes, probably even more badly

(Y/N): (joking) Moxxie is gonna have another panic attack or worse (curious) hey we're are Moxxie and Millie?

Blitzo: don't worry I already told them they're gonna be here any minute

Timeskip: brought to you by happiness: the thing nobody has but everyone pretends they do

After a short while of waiting Moxxie and Millie and if you're wondering who they are Moxxie and Millie are the most wholesome and cutest couple in hell after Charlie and vaggie of course but anyway let's forget about that for now because it was time for the meeting to start

Blitzo: Alright, now I know business has been a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here. (looks at Moxxie) Moxxie. Now does anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?

Millie: What about a car wash?

Blitzo: This is hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being cleaned here, okay?

(Y/N): what if we do a sex tape?

Blitzo: (confused) what would that do?

(Y/N): (sad) I don't know

Blitzo: (excited) ooo, what about a billboard?

Moxxie: We can't afford a billboard, sir

Blitzo: Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. (pushes Moxxie away) Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

Blitzo turns on a TV that shows Blitzo busting a guys head open with a hammer, Moxxie shooting a tied up person, Loona mauling a guy to death, (Y/N) stabbing a man with his claws multiple times and ending with Millie cutting a persons head with a spear and giggling on top of their corpse, Blitzo and everyone watches the TV while eating popcorn

Blitzo: Ahh, those were the good times.

Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel nobody watches.

(Y/N): wait WHAT, you got to be fucking joking

Moxxie: no, I'm not fucking joking

Blitzo: Uh, hey, excuse me. What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, all right? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Millie: People love musicals, sir

(Y/N): I know a person that would agree

Blitzo: Exactly, Millie. And we're basically doin' a musical. Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?

Moxxie: Sir--

Blitzo: 'Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside.

(Y/N): Blitzo, phrasing

Millie: Are you trying to crush his dreams, Moxxie?

Moxxie: I-- What?

Millie: I thought I knew you.

(Y/N) quickly and quietly takes a picture of Moxxie and Millie interactions because of how fucking adorable they are and he also has a second album dedicated to them by the way IT IS NOT WIERD OKEY

Blitzo: I can't believe you, Moxxie, (holds up an employee of the month plaque with a very unflattering picture of Moxxie) after I made you employee of the month!

Moxxie: Okay, sir! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles.

Millie: I liked it.

Moxxie: Do not-- (points at Millie) Do not agree with him in front of me.

Blitzo: besides we made (Y/N) sign it

(Y/N): (annoyed) if by "we made" you made: we shoot (Y/N) until he agreed to sing it

Blitzo: but you didn't die

(Y/N): yeah but don't you know how long it takes for organ to grow back YOU PIECE OF SH....

Timeskip to show the commercial

Blitzo: Hi, there! I'm Blitzo! The "O" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.!Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to hell or are you an innocent soul who got fucked over by someone else?!

The commercial cuts to a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, while (Y/N) holds a cardboard sign in frame that reads "Some asshole who hired us!!"

Demon Guy: After lovingly killing my wife for (in demonic voice) fucking a deliveryman, (normal voice) you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the state of Ohio killed me. I really wish I could stick it to that (in demonic voice) yappy jogger (normal voice) who saw me hiding the body.

Blitzo is speaking to camera and holding a grimoire, while Moxxie and Millie are arranging lit candles on the floor in a square and (Y/N) is seen drinking a bottle of tequila

Blitzo: (to camera) Well, luckily for you, thanks to our company's special access to the living world, we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over (falls backwards into the portal, like a mosh pit) when you were alive!

The scene transitions to a person with their arms crossed and a thought bubble appears depicting another person being crossed out as the commercial jingle plays in the background

(Again I'm not doing this scene blah blah blah YouTube blah blah blah up yours, oh and by the way you're singing voice sounds just like the YouTuber: THE STUPENDIUM and if you don't know who he is then get the fuck out of this story)

The jingle is interrupted when Moxxie accidentally shoots a boy passing by, eating an ice cream cone.

Eddie: Ooooh!

The boy collapses as Moxxie looks on in shock but then the boy is wheeled in on a hospital bed by a doctor, a pink-haired nurse, and a blue-haired nurse.

Pink-haired Nurse: (in masculine voice) Doctor, he's not responding!

Blue-haired Nurse: Cool water, stat!

The Pink-haired Nurse whacks the boy in the face with a bucket of water

Blue-haired Nurse: It didn't do anything!

Doctor: Damn it! I'm not losing another one!

Everyone has their defibrillator paddles over the boy

Doctor: Clear!

They all zap the kid and he wakes up

Eddie: (gasps)

Doctor: Holy shit, it actually worked.

Blitzo, Millie, and Moxxie are waiting outside the boy's hospital room. Blitzo is reading a magazine, while Millie comforts Moxxie, who looks devastated. The doctor comes out of the room with a clipboard

Doctor: He appears to be in stable condition, but he'll need surgery. Now what insurance provider do you freaks have?

Blitzo: The fuck is insurance?

A shot of the outside of the hospital is shown, as a window breaks and the boy's hospital bed flies out. The boy is unconscious in the bed, while Millie, Moxxie, and Blitzo are holding on for dear life as they plummet to the ground

Millie, Moxxie, and Blitzo: Aaaaah! (The bed is stopped by a rope that has become tangled around Blitzo's foot) Ooh! (The rope snaps and they all continue to fall) Aaaaah!

[A still shot of the I.M.P. logo is shown.]

(Y/N): ♫Kids die for freeeeeee!♫

And now where back in hell:

Millie and Moxxie are sitting across from Loona, who has her feet up and is watching a video on her phone of Moxxie getting hurt while (Y/N) right next to her has a face of understanding

(Y/N) ooooooh that explains the kid over there

(Y/N) mentions while pointing towards the still unconscious

Moxxie: I'd like to go on record and said that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple.

Loona: Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie.

Moxxie: You sit! Sit on...a-- and the d-- Do your job!

Blitzo: Hey, now we don't blame our screwups on Loona, okay? (Blitzo hugs and nuzzles Loona, who appears to not like his affection while (Y/N) pets her head making her calm down) She didn't do anything wrong!

Moxxie: Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful.

Flashback time:

Loona is sitting behind her desk reading a magazine when suddenly the phone rings and she answers

Loona: Hello, I.M.P.

Millie: (On phone) Loona, I got stabbed! Call Mox--

Loona suddenly hangs up, disinterested in the conversation.

Next flashback, Loona is in Blitzo's office as he presents her with a gift.

Blitzo: Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loony! I got you a little somethin'.

Loona: Is it a cure for syphilis?

Blitzo: I...oh...

Loona: (snatches the present and throws it on the floor) Then I don't want it! (A swarm of spiders suddenly emerge from the present box and cover Loona up to her head) Ugh!

Blitzo is suddenly outside of the office window

Blitzo: I'm sorry, I bought spiders.

Loona: God dammit.

Next flashback Loona is then shown at her desk, watching an online video of Charlie Magne performing "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow". Moxxie approaches her with a flyer for "Chub B Gone"

Moxxie: Um, excuse me, did you just fax me an ad for weight loss?

Loona: No.

Moxxie: Wha-- Why-why would anyone send me this?

Loona: Come on, you know why.

The next flashback shows Loona looking through the break room fridge

Loona: Whoever left the fucking avocado salad in the fridge, (Loona turns around to face Millie with a red box in hand as she shuts the fridge door with her foot) I'm taking it, because I have the worst hangover right now.

Loona rips off the lid and drinks the salad, which for some reason, is in liquid form

Millie: Why would you drink on a work night?

Loona: (Stops drinking) I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass!

Moxxie enters the room and notices Loona with his box

Moxxie: Isn't that my lunch?

Loona: (Drops the box on the floor) You know what? I can't take this assault right now! I need to blow off some (Kicks the box to Moxxie, knocking him out of the room) fucking steam!

(Loona runs out of the break room and out into the street)

Loona: Aaaaaaaaah!

Loona runs up to a demon lady passing by, pushing her baby in a stroller. She kicks the stroller high into the air and storms off, while the demon lady stands there in disbelief.

The next flashback (Y/N) is seen eating a giant turkey leg until Loona enters the room angrily and atoms towards him

(Y/N): (calm) sup Loona (looks towards his turkey leg and the angry Loona) sorry this is mine I can get you anot.......

Loona: (interrupts him) (Y/N) I'm horny let's fuck

(Y/N): (curious and still eating) mmmmmmh can we do it on top of Blitzo's desk?

Loona: (horny) YES

(Y/N) rips his pants off, throws the turkey leg breaking a window and grabs Loona by the waist

(Y/N): (horny) then let's do this

The next flashback Loona at her desk, telling Blitzo about a caller

Loona: Blitzo, that clingy rich asshole is on the phone. Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you. Sounds a little DTF-y.

Blitzo: (Throws his cup of water on the floor) Oh, God, it was one time! (Crosses arms) If I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world

Moxxie: (Stares in stunned silence) You what?

The flashback cuts to a flashback of Stolas sleeping naked in bed. He is cutely hooting like an owl and there are feathers everywhere. Blitzo, who is partially nude, walks away quietly with the grimoire in hand

Blitzo: (to himself) Got the book, got the book! Got this fucking heavy book!

Blitzo is on Stolas' balcony and lays the grimoire on the ledge. He tries to step up on the ledge too.

Blitzo: (Grunts and starts to fall) Oh...oh shit!

Blitzo lands in a cake that Stolas' wife and her friends are having, splattering pieces of it all over them

Blitzo: (To Stolas' wife) Sorry I fucked your husband.

In another part of the house in the front door lays a a bodyguard that has been force by Lucifer to check on the overlords in hell

(Y/N): (curious) the fuck was that

(Interruption: woah what's that smell "deep inhale" smells like foreshadowing a origins chapter)

Then we return to loona yelling at blitzo

Loona: Blitzo!!

Blitzo: I heard you alrea--!

Blitzo in his office, talking with Stolas, and playing with a bobblehead of Moxxie.

Blitzo: So, what can I do you for this time, Stolas?

Stolas is shown talking on his phone from a fancy mansion

Stolas: There's a political candidate causing trouble up on earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists!

Blitzo: Doesn't it?

Stolas: Well, yes, but more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here.

Blitzo: Okay, well, yeah, that makes sense.

Stolas: You know what happens when I'm lonely, Blitzy?

Blitzo: (pulls his phone away and talks to himself) Oh, God fucking damnit.

Stolas: When I'm lonely, I become hungry...and when I become hungry, I want to choke on that red **** of yours! **** your ***** and lick all of your ***** before taking out your ***** and **** with more teeth until you're screaming ******** like a fucking baby!

Blitzo, who's visibly disturbed, hangs up. He breaks his cellphone in half, smashes it with his desk phone, pulls out a blender, puts the pieces in it, and blends them. Blitzo turns and hands the blender to Loona, who was standing nearby

Blitzo: Eat this! (Loona drinks the blended cellphone mixture) And then you know that bridge over the freeway?

Loona: Yeah?

Blitzo: Shit off it!

Loona goes to do that and when blitzo turns towards his desk his hum scared by (Y/N) who has suddenly appeared with a raging hard on

(Y/N): (calm) yeah I heard you're entire conversation with Stolas and now I have the most confused boner sooooooooo if you excuse me I'm gonna wait for Loona to come back and then fuck her brains out

The flashback madness finally ends and we return at the meeting we're blitzo is standing by Loona's side

Blitzo: Look, the point is Loona's a valued member of our family, and you don't get rid of family.

Loona looks up from her phone and smiles, touched by Blitzo's words

Moxxie: We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted (As Loona continues looking at her phone, she slowly gives the middle finger to Moxxie) homeless woman you let man the phones!

Blitzo: That is offensive! Without homeless people, I wouldn't have half the joy and laughter I do in this life!

Blitzo puts his face up against the window, cracking it, and sees a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads "Monee helps. Satan bless." A female demon is on her cellphone and ignores the hobo. Blitzo smugly waves at him, before lowering the window blinds

Moxxie: While we're on the subject of "family", can you two weirdos stop finding me and Millie outside of work?

Millie: Come on, Sweetie! It's not that big a deal!

Moxxie: Excuse me, what?!

Time for more flashbacks but this time of (Y/N) and Blitzo stalking Moxxie and Millie in the non creepy way

Moxxie and Millie are in their kitchen preparing dinner

Moxxie: Honey, can you get me the butter?

Millie: Sure, Sweetie.

Millie opens the fridge door and finds Blitzo inside as he hands her the butter

Blitzo: Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled!

Millie: (giggles)

Moxxie: What's funny, Honey?

Blitzo: Really impressive word play.

Moxxie: What the?! Why are you in our fridge?!

Later that evening, Moxxie and Millie are asleep in bed. The former is tossing and turning as the sound of a cat purring can be heard. Moxxie opens his eyes and sees Blitzo standing on him, looking him right in the eyes and (Y/N) is taking pictures of them while sitting in a rocking chair

Blitzo: Whatcha dreamin' about?

Moxxie: I was dreaming about my parents being murdered, but now, I'd like to go back to that.

(Y/N): (whispering) you guys are adorable

Then we see the most cutest and wholesome thing when Moxxie starts singing about Millie

Moxxie: (They close their eyes to kiss, but Moxxie notices (Y/N) and Blitzo outside the window with a camcorder) Are you fucking filming us right now?!

(Y/N): (happily) you guys are fucking adorable

We finally cut from all the flashback and return once again to the meeting

Moxxie: Just. Stop. Doing. That!

Blitzo: (shrugs) I don't see what the issue is! Is there something you don't want me seeing?

Moxxie: (He twitches his eye in anger) No!

Loona and (Y/N): (snickers)

Blitzo: You a baby-weiner-haver?

Moxxie: Sir, what you say and how you act is totally (stands up from his chair) inappropriate!

Millie: [(lays her hand on Moxxie's shoulder) Calm down, Mox. You're gonna have another panic attack.

Moxxie: I am calm!! (Moxxie starts whimpering in anger while looking back at Blitzo)

Millie: (Comforting Moxxie) Shh. Shh. There, there.

(Y/N) again takes mother picture of them

Blitzo: Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff (Motions his hands to imply sexual activity) you do outside work hours, so don't judge me!

Moxxie: Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot actually!

Millie: Mox, he's our boss!

Blitzo: No no no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just...How do I say this without being offensive...Retarded.

Moxxie: Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?

Blitzo: (leans towards Moxxie) It actually does.

Loona: The only reason you have a wife (She looks away from her phone, looking at Moxxie) is because you're easy to manage!

(Y/N): OH SNAP

Millie: (She slams her hands against the table, looking at Loona with anger) No he's not, you bitch! (Gestures at Loona with two middle fingers)

Loona: (growls at Millie)

Blitzo: Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!

Loona: (snaps her jaws at Millie) Yes, I am!

(Y/N) (stands up angrily) damn right she is

Loona blushes knowing what (Y/N) meant seeing Loona blush Blitzo get angry

Blitzo: (angry) THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

Eddie: You guys are all fucking assholes.

They all look towards Eddie the kid Moxxie shot on accident Eddie is lying on a table with three tubes from a heart monitor attached to his stomach

(Y/N): (confused) wait little shit is still alive?

Blitzo: Oh shut up, kid. You're lucky to witness this.

Moxxie: Ugh, this company is such a mess!

Blitzo: Alright, let's go back to talking about my outfit.

Loona: Nobody was talking about that!

Blitzo: Which is why I'm trying to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?

Eddie: (Points at Blitzo) It's been a literal hell (Detaches the tubes of the heart monitor) having to pretend to be paralyzed, so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But now, I want that. I want death! (Once again points at Biltzo) You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid. We're suppose to like clowns, even the creepy ones!

Moxxie: Hey now, that's not very--

Eddie: If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit.

Millie: That's my husband you're talking to!

Eddie: (laughs) That's your husband?!

Moxxie and Millie snarl at Eddie

Eddie: I figured you for a slut, but I didn't know you needed dick that bad! (Points at Loona) And you!

Loona: What? What about me?

Eddie: Nothing. (crosses arms) I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person.

Loona gives a wide-eyed glare, whines at Eddie with anger, and goes back to looking at her phone

Eddie: (points at (Y/N)) and you, i feel like you really don't belong here like you're some stupid and overused male reader insert story from Wattpad

(Y/N) just shrugs his shoulder and continues petting Loona

Blitzo: Wow. You know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit.

Moxxie: (Whispering) Yeah, after all. He's kind of a piece of shit.

Loona receives a text message

Loona: Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client. Guess he was the right target after all.

Blitzo: Who?

Loona: Him. (points at Eddie)

Eddie: Me?

Loona: Yup.

Blitzo: They wanted us to kill an actual child?

Loona: That's what they're sayin'.

Blitzo: Well, Christ on a stick, I guess there is a god!

Blitzo draws a flintlock pistol and fires it at Eddie, instantly killing him and (Y/N) just starts laughing at Eddie's death

Eddie: Owww!

The the entire crew decided to start to beating Eddie's corpse while Moxxie and Millie stabbed him (Y/N) and blitzo we're kicking it and Loona was taking pictures

Blitzo: (voiceover) You know, folks, with this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable (Blitzo and Moxxie are shown dismembering Eddie's body with a wood saw and a chainsaw while (Y/N) is sharpening a machete) of doing the same things anyone else can! Like killing people! (the group is seen next to a dumpster putting Eddie's body parts in a garbage bag) So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money...is gone and you're never getting it back and you can write us a bad review, [Blitzo hugs Moxxie, Millie, (Y/N) and Loona, whose phone flies out of her hands) but we'll play dumb to it, because it's hell and no one fucking cares.

Blitzo: You know, even though this kid was a target, he's still a child. And it's (He wraps his tail around them) important that we handle this going forward respectfully.

[Moxxie, Millie, (Y/N) and Loona smile, an in eart we see the mother of Eddie tearfully holding up a very terrible drawing of her son. A male news reporter holds a microphone up to her, looking disinterested. The headline on screen says "Mom sucks at drawing own kid", while the ticker bar reads "There is a missing boy! Yet another missing kid!"

Eddie's Mother: (sobbing) Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie's, please contact us at-- (Eddie's body bag is suddenly dropped into her arms) Ohh! (Eddie's mother and the news reporter look up, as the camera follows their gaze. Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie and (Y/N) are shown looking down on them through a portal.]

Blitzo: (waves) You're welcome!

And while the portal closes (Y/N) throws an empty bottle of tequila while yelling

(Y/N): THAT'S FOR HAVING A SHITY SON

now back to hell:

(Y/N): (cracking his back) well that was fun (he looks towards Loona and whispers) are we gonna tell them the kids wasn't the target and you just made that up because you were angry

Loona: (whisper yells) NO

(Y/N): okey, okey just checking

Loona:......

(Y/N):......

Loona:......

(Y/N): (curious) wanna fuck again on top of Blitzo's desk

Loona: (excited) FUCK YEAH

And the start stripping and making out while also heading towards Blitzo's office while Moxxie, Millie and Blitzo stare in shock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (ANDDDDDD that is it well folks that's all the hazbin hotel and helluva boss content for now but maybe I could do some origin chapters but that will be for another time anyway as always what did you think 
> 
> Did you like it? 
> 
> Did you hate it?
> 
> Did it make you wish you were illiterate so you don't have to read my stories ever again?
> 
> Sooooo I'll focused on my other stories so stay tuned please follow me or not I don't care and see you my friends in another story  
> GOOODBYE)


	7. HAZBIN HOTEL ORIGINS PART 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (So folks here we are in the most anticipated (or least anticipated depending on your views on origin stories) chapters that you mother truckers wanted so buckle down, grab some popcorn and I will start the story 
> 
> NOW)

(Y/N) can be seen returning happily towards the hotel but stopped when he noticed the sign had changed from "HAPPY HOTEL" to "HAZBIN HOTEL"

(Y/N): (kinda angry) goddamit Alastor

(Y/N) just have a long tired sigh and continued walking towards the hotels doors finally entering his favorite place in hell, as soon as entered though he froze in place since apparently everyone in the hotel was looking at him it was kinda like one of those interventions were everyone was expecting the addict to burst trough the doors at any second they might have been waiting for long since angel dust was sleeping on the couch with fat nuggets right next to him and husk was passed out with several bottles around him

(Y/N): ummmmm d-did something happened?

Charlie and Vaggie exchange looks as if communicating silently and Charlie with a look of seriousness then looks at (Y/N)

Charlie: (Y/N) we care about each other right?

(Y/N): (confused) yes

Charlie: and you trust me?

(Y/N): (confused) yes

Charlie: (sad) then can you please tell me how exactly you meet Alastor and never told me where you come from?

(Y/N) has a complete look of sadness as he stares at his little sister figure and after a long sigh, he slumps towards a chair next to the fireplace and looking towards Alastor

(Y/N): (defeated) can you please help?

Alastor knowing what his friend meant, Alastor snapped his fingers and a long wooden table appeared with a bottle of vodka and one glass along with a few chairs for Alastor, Charlie, nifty and vaggie while angel dust and husk we're still sleeping/passed out

(Y/N) served himself a glass of vodka and stared at the glass as if it contained all the answers he was looking for, after a moment of silence he finally spoke

(Y/N): (sad) why are you suddenly interested in my life?

Charlie: (confused) I-It's just that I'm tired of secrets between us...... you're not angry with me, are you?

(Y/N): (sad) oh no my sweet child... I guess you do deserve to know the truth but I got to warn you it's not a pretty story, and I guess I'm scared of how you will se me afterwards

Charlie: (serious) (Y/N) no matter what you say I will not judge you

(Y/N) stares at Charlie as if trying to see if she's lying but he just drinks his glass of vodka and in a very sad tone starts talking

(Y/N): (sadly) before I talk about my past I feel that we need to talk about my families past, my family was one of the biggest group of assassins that ever existed but what separated them from other assassins is that apart from taking contracts from people they also sorta shaped the world from the shadows for example does the name JFK ring any bells to anyone?

Charlie and Vaggie: (shocked) Oswald was part of you're organization?

(Y/N): (chuckling) no, no, of course not he was more of an escape goat the man did want to assassinate the president, the only thing they did was push old Oswald in the right direction and make him believe he made the choice by himself, that was the kind of assassin my ancestors were..........(sad) well enough reminiscing of the past of my family and let's start talking about MY past

(The flashback parts of the story will be narrated by (Y/N) so sorry if it gets confusing)

Flashback (exposition) time:

(Y/N) (narration): I was born if my guess is correct somewhere in the late 90's, don't look at me like that I don't know where I was born and when, heck i don't even know if my "father" was my real father but that was the title I gave him

We see images of a young human (Y/N) training martial art, with weapons and getting hit as a training to resist pain

(Y/N) (narration): ever since I was little I remember was training from the earliest hours of the day to the darkest hours of the night, I was trained like a military getting yelled at, told what to eat and when to eat, where to sleep and when to sleep it was constant working. (Takes a drink of vodka) my father and mother if they were even my real ones didn't care for me or at least they did in the same way they care about a weapon, the only time they showed true kindness to me was when they gave me a pet rabbit, I named her Patches

More images of a young human (Y/N) getting Patches, petting her, playing with her and feeding her

(Y/N) (narration): (angry) but I should of know that wouldn't last

We see (Y/N) training with a sniper rifle when his interrupted by his father

Father: son, I need you to come with me

(Y/N): what is it father?

Father: just follow me

(Y/N) just nods and follows his father until they reach the kitchen and he sees Patches ties by her legs in a plate, (Y/N)was in a state of shock he wanted to yell and scream at his father what was the meaning of this but he couldn't his words were stuck in his throat

Father: this is you're final test: you must cut all forms of attachment that you have even if it means killing them

(Y/N) (narration): my father gave my a knife to kill Patches with, in that moment all I wanted was to stab him in his fucking throat and watch him bleed to death in front of me but I couldn't do it I wasn't strong enough so I did the only thing I believe I could do

We see an image of (Y/N) shaking with a bloody knife on his hand with his father on his side with an uncaring face

(Y/N) (narration): my fathers only response was: "you're ready" and he showed me that we were a big group of hitman's, assassins and in some rare cases bodyguards and that I wasn't the only child being tested like this but I didn't care something in me snapped that day it was as if I fell asleep and my body was in autopilot, the last shred of hope I had of my parents actually caring about me died that day and they force me to kill it

Charlie: why didn't you leave?

(Y/N): and go where? all I knew since I was born was how to kill people, how to torture and how to be as brutal and as efficient as possible no one would accept me but I also stayed because even as fucked up as it was they were still my family and for me family was important (takes a swing of vodka)

As they were sitting in a very awkward silence with Vaggie holding Charlie's hand to make her less upset and Alastair was just sitting there with his usual smile in his face but with a little bit of sadness in his eyes but like usual his very well at hiding it

Charlie: (curious and sad) what happened after that?

More flashback time:

(Y/N) (narration): well I stayed with my family but like I said it was as if I was in a trance I was moving but my mind was sleep, I still remember some of the things I did:Some assassinations

(Y/N) can be seen knocking on a metal door and some big bastard opens it

Big bastard: (angry) кто ты, черт возьми?

(Y/N): (sarcastic) смерть

(Y/N) punches the big bastard in the throat and takes a 9mm pistol with a silencer and shots him right trough the eye, as the big bastard is falling to the ground (Y/N) grabs him and holds him in front of him as a shield while also kicking the metal door open where five other guys where playing poker, they all quickly get their weapons out and start shooting at the intruder while their dead friend took most of their bullets (Y/N) shot two bullets towards the closet one hitting him in the chest and mouth while one decided to get even closer but didn't count (Y/N) throwing him his dead friend

(Y/N): (sarcastic) CATCH

Almost losing his balance while accidentally grabbing his friend corpse but was able to stay in balance but this was part of (Y/N)'s plan since the last thing he noticed was (Y/N) shooting the corpse in the same eye he shot before and the bullet go right trough it and hitting him in the eye

(Y/N): nice catch

Now with two corpses as shields (Y/N) charged with them towards the last three remaining members making the fall in the ground (Y/N) shot four times killing two guys, the last remaining guy the oldest in the group and most likely the leader was trying to reach for his gun but (Y/N) stepped on his hand and shot him four times in the head, seeing all the carnage around him (Y/N) just sighed and left but before closing the door he said

(Y/N): спокойной ночи джентльмен

(Y/N) (narration): some torturing

(Y/N) can be seen forcefully pulling a mans nails with pliers, punching him until his black and blue, stabbing his hands and drilling his legs

(Y/N) (narration): but After a bunch of other jobs and missions, one day after I woke up I felt like myself again as if I awoke the mental coma I put myself, all I wanted now was to stop this endless cycle of killing and for once in my life I actually stood up to my "parents" and told them to fuck off

(Y/N) stops talking for a moment and takes a long sigh of relief with a tiny grin on his lips as if just mentioning that moment made him feel better

(Y/N) (narration): (somberly) it was one of my proudest and most dumbest moment in my life because, I had the bravery to stand up to my family but I was a fucking idiot in doing it, to my family it was a symbol of defiance if I couldn't no longer be controlled by them, then what happens if other follow suit?............ this moment was the beginning of how I died

Charlie: (shocked) w-w-WAIT you wanted to no longer wanted to be a hitman and were killed because of it

(Y/N): (uncaring) yeah pretty much

Vaggie: (curious) how did you die exactly (Y/N)? If You're okey with telling me

(Y/N): well I was planing on telling you anyway so here's how I died (narration) After I stood up to my family everyone was against me, they tried to sabotage me, tried to beat me and one dumb idiot tried to kill me while I was in the bathroom (laughs) strangely one day they simply stopped almost as if they we're ordered to do it and in the same day a family meeting was announced but I didn't care about it because I was planning how to get the hell out of that fucking place

(Y/N) just stopped for a moment to let out a dry laugh while drinking another shot of vodka

(Y/N) (narration): I went to the meeting not caring about what they were talking about I didn't care (sad sigh) then it happened

We see (Y/N) standing in the family meeting not paying attention, he feels a sharp pain in his back, he gasps like a fish out of the water, he falls to his knees weak from the sudden pain and he feels another stab then another then another soon he realizes what is happening, his "family" were killing him every single one of the members from the oldest to youngest was stabbing in to death, (Y/N) was in so much pain he didn't know how many times he was stabbed, he felt so weak he just wanted to close his eyes and finally embrace death but the he saw his father walk towards him having a wicked smile in his face in that moment (Y/N) felt so much anger that he lunge himself at his father took one or the knives that some sick fuck left in his back and with one hard knife thrust stabbed his father in the spine, (Y/N) wanted to kill him but he thought that was to easy so instead he made sure the fucker would never walk again, his anger leaving him and suddenly feeling weak (Y/N) fell on top of his father and with his last breath he said

(Y/N): (weak) now you'll....have something to........remember......... me

(Y/N) (narration): and that's how I died unloved and alone

Charlie quickly stood up and went to hug (Y/N)

Charlie: (crying) I love you (Y/N)

(Y/N): (happy) I know that Charlie, I know

As they stood there in silence (Y/N) notice that Alastor left probably when he finished his story

(Y/N): hey Charlie it's getting late how about we go to bed and tomorrow I tell you about my early years in hell? What do you think?

Vaggie: i think that sounds nice

Said vaggie while taking Charlie's hand and taking her to their room, while watching this (Y/N) remember that angel was still sleeping in the couch with fat nuggets and decided to take him to his room

(Timeskip brought to you by the writer of this shity story)

Carrying angel to he's room was really easy considering how skinny he is but having to carry fat nuggets as well was a different story while reaching angel's room he notice some bruises in angel's neck

(Y/N): (angry) fucking Valentino I will get you for this motherfucker

After whispering some more curse towards Valentino, (Y/N) put angel and nuggets next to each other in bed he kissed angel on the forehead and also a kiss in the forehead for nuggets and walked out of angel's room while walking towards his room (Y/N) stopped right next to a window and looked towards the pentagram in the hellish sky

(Y/N): come on father im waiting and trust me you don't want to keep me waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AND THATS WERE WE ARE STOPPING   
> Well guys sorry for not updating for so long I have huge amounts of writers block and in September I'm starting an university for cinema but enough about that
> 
> What did you think? 
> 
> Did you love it?
> 
> Did you hate it?
> 
> Did it make you wish I had arthritis so I stopped writing once and for all?
> 
> Sorry for the run on sentences and other misspelled words and the fact that I have no idea how comas work also sorry for all the cringe I just suck at making sad moment and dramatic events but that's a problem for another time
> 
> SO SEE YOU GUYS LATER GOODBY)


	8. HAZBIN HOTEL: ORIGINS PART 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (well we're back once again with hazbin hotel we are going to learn more about the background of (Y/N) on why he hates Valentino and how he meet Alastor, are you ready? 
> 
> No? Because you think this is unnecessary?
> 
> Well to bad because we're still gonna do this SOOOOOO LETS BEGIN)

(Y/N) woke up like usual: checked his weapons, brushed his teeth, made sure that his collection of cute pictures of Vaggie and Charlie were intact, checked his angelic bullets, he put on his pig slippers that angel gave him and went towards the kitchen for breakfast

Time skip: brought to you by laziness

Everyone was in the kitchen mostly just chatting about the hotel with Alastor and Niffty cooking breakfast but they all went quiet when (Y/N) decide to show up but he didn't notice until he started eating his cereal with milk and vodka

(Y/N): (confused and eating) sup?

Charlie: (shy) hey (Y/N) remember how you opened up to us yesterday?

(Y/N): (still eating)yes it's called character development (confused) or was it exposition?

(Interruption: this is an actual issue that I have, when a character is talking about his or her past i don't know if it is exposition or character development)

Charlie: (really shy)well I w-was won.... I mean We we're wondering if y-y-you.....

Vaggie stops Charlie with a hand on her shoulder and looks at (Y/N) with determination

Vaggie: (serious)WE want to know more about you're past

Everyone stood in a deafening silence waiting for (Y/N) answers

(Y/N):......... yeah sure

Charlie: (sad sigh)it's okey I understand that you want privacy and............. (shocked) WAIT WHAT?

(Y/N): (putting empty bowl of cereal in the sink) I said I'll do it in fact I feel that you deserve some answers especially on: how I met Alastor, How I got this gun (Flirty) And how I met the one and only super sexy Angel Dust (kisses angel in the back)

Angel Dust: (flirty) now, now sweetheart you don't wanna get me hot and bothered in front of everyone do you?

Everyone looks away uncomfortable except for Alastor who just teleports out of there

(Y/N): (hugging Angel from behind) you know if I could I would make love to you right here right now

But this pervert act is interrupted by Vaggie who throws a knife towards them and in the blink of an eye (Y/N) moves Angel out of the way and grabs the knife

(Y/N): (sarcastic) okey, fine we will stop.....(wink towards Angel) for now. (Serious) but really I will tell you everything I promise you

with that promise made everyone waits with anticipation for (Y/N) to start he's story but the only thing he does is start washing the dishes with Niffty

Charlie: sooooo are you gonna tell us?

(Y/N): yeah but not right now

Husk: (angry)the fuck you mean not right now?

(Y/N): well I mean I need some ambiance to tell the story I was thinking the same way we did it yesterday

Vaggie: in the middle of the night?

(Y/N): yes like that (excited) oooooooh we could do it right next to the chimney to make it more dramatic

Angel Dust: you also need to tell me and Husky the first part of you're story since we fell sleep waiting for you

Husk: (angry) STOP CALLING ME THAT YOU DUMBASS

(Y/N): oh shit you're right okey, (somber) so the story of my death started like this...............

Time skip: brought to you by MONTAGE

Nothing much happened after breakfast (Y/N) told Angel Dust and Husk about his past and angel felt really bad for (Y/N)'s childhood and tried to make him feel better by hugging him and putting (Y/N)'s head in his fluffy chest

One interesting thing did happen as soon as they were gonna close for the day a demon walked right trough the doors but it wasn't a demon seeking redemption, it was one of Valentino's crew looking for Angel Dust

Val's lapdog: (demanding) WHERE THE FUCK IS HE? VALENTINO IS TIRED OF WAITING

Seeing as this guy wasn't here peacefully Charlie decided to at least try to let him leave

Charlie: (nervous) e-excuse me sir but we're about to close maybe if you come back tomorr......

But Charlie wasn't able to finish as the demon shoved her aside and started walking towards Angel, seeing how this was going downhill fats Angel decide to go with Val's lapdog but was stop by a hand on his shoulder which belong to a very pissed off (Y/N) that stood in front of the demon staring daggers at him

(Y/N): (pissed off) sir, you were asked to leave

Val's lapdog: I ain't going nowhere until I get that whore over there, SO MOVE

he tries to push (Y/N) out of the way but (Y/N) steps aside grabs by his shoulder and throws him in the ground

(Y/N): (stern) sir, if you don't leave I'm gonna (demon voice) have to start using force

The lapdog stands up and dust himself off and starts walking to the door while (Y/N) follows him

Val's lapdog: (uncaring) whatever I was just about to leave (throws a punch) YOU STUPID BITCH

The demon decides to attack (Y/N) by surprise but what he didn't expect was (Y/N) grabbing his arm, twisting it and

CRACK

punching it so hard that his bones are poking out but before his able to cry from the severe amount of pain his feeling (Y/N) elbows him right in the throat and the demon falls to the floor wheezing like an animal in pain

(Y/N): (calm) I'm gonna take the trash out

He said while literally grabbing the demon by the hair and dragging him outside and when he's sure they can't hear him, (Y/N) steps on the guys already damage throat

(Y/N): now I want you to listen to me very carefully, I don't care about you, the way I see this moment now is (taking his revolver out) I kill you right here right now and dump you're body in Valentino doorstep.......... but my boss believes in rehabilitation and I bet that she believes shits like you can change so I'll let you walk away this time but next time you won't be lucky

(Y/N) took his foot of the demon neck and started walking towards the door but the dumb demon decided to open his mouth

Val's lapdog: VALENTINO IS GONNA GET HIM AND HAVE HIS WAY WITH HIM AGAIN AND YOU KNOW WHAT I BET THAT STUPID WHORE YOURE PROTECTING IS GONNA LOVE IT

(Y/N) stopped in his tracks

(Y/N): what did (begins to transform) you JUST SAY

As soon as he finished saying that (Y/N) turned around and showed his demon form to Val's lapdog: he looked possessed his clawed hand looked ten times sharper like a scythe, his eyes were black like oil, the skin in his face started to peel of showing his jaw and a line of sharp teeth, his body was ten times more muscular and spikes started growing from his back

Val's lapdog: (scared) n-n-no wait.. I didn't meant a word I said..... I swear Valentino won't know where he is

The demon was yelling while running away but in a blink the now transformed (Y/N) appeared right next to him and punched him to the ground and started to beaten him to a pulp every punch would rip skin, every cut of his claw made sure they would never heal and every bite he took the more blood he could taste

Suddenly he stopped and tilted his head as to admire his work but this short pause was broken when he slowly shoved his claw trough the demons eyes until he made sure he's fingers came out of the other side finally killing the demon

(Y/N): Razzle.... Dazzle (they appear) take this piece of trash and dump it in front of Valentino's porn studio

Razzle and Dazzle did a salute and left dragging the dead demon and (Y/N) started to transform back to normal and entered the hotel again without telling what happened to anyone

was it for shame for what he did? Or was it fear of what they would say about him? (Y/N) honestly didn't know but he knew he didn't want to tell anyone

Time skip: because I want to get to the flashbacks

It was finally time everyone was sitting in a circle with (Y/N) sitting in front of the fireplace with Niffty on (Y/N)'s lap while he stroked her like a cat

(Y/N): (curious): You guys sure you wanna hear my life in hell?

Charlie and the rest of the group all nod (even fat nuggets)

(Y/N): when I closed my eyes after stabbing my "father", I didn't know if i was gonna open them up ever again so imagine my shock when I suddenly feel my body falling towards the ground

(Flashback)

A sleeping (Y/N) can be seen falling and suddenly waking up after hitting the ground and seeing a gigantic sign that said: "Welcome to HELL" but he didn't care, (Y/N) started walking as in a trance towards what looked like a city where yelling and gunshots could be heard

(Flashback end)

(Y/N): (clears throat) before we continue I need to tell you guys something about my "family", unsurprisingly they didn't celebrate any type of holiday the only reason I discovered them was because of my jobs but do you wanna guess what holiday was when I died?

Husk: (confused) is this really important to the story?

(Y/N): (annoyed)I'm just trying to keep this interesting, now guess, please?

Angel Dust: mmmmmh Halloween?

(Y/N): (playfully) no

Nifty: (curious) Hanukkah?

(Y/N): kinda

Alastor: Christmas

(Y/N): you're warm

Charlie: (excited)oh New Year's Eve

(Y/N): (happy) DING DING DING we have a winner, yes it was New Year's Eve the exact day I died and tell me Charlie what happens in hell every year?

Charlie excitement for guessing right suddenly turned sour when she realized where this question was leading

Charlie: (sad) extermination day

(Y/N): (dejected)yes, extermination day or the cleanse or the purge or whatever you wanna call it (chuckles) apparently not even after I died I couldn't take a rest

(Flashback)

Four exterminators can be seen stabbing and shooting various demons and imps

Exterminator # 3: (sarcastic)go with god my children HAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH (starts shooting at demons with a revolver)

(Sarcastic interruption: guess whats gonna happen with the revolver?)

Exterminator # 1: (while stabbing demon in the ground) dude seriously you're freaking me out, have you taken those therapy sessions I recommended?

Exterminator # 4: (ripping a imps jaw with a knife) I don't think his listening to you

Exterminator # 2: should we like stop him?

Exterminator # 1: are you out of your mind? I'm not getting close to him when his like this

CLANG

After hearing a trash can getting topple over all the exterminators (except for # 3) turned around to see (Y/N) still in some trance next to the fallen trash can in his knees looking straight ahead no even acknowledging the exterminators

Exterminator # 4: (excited) ooooooooooh look what we have here boys a newly arrived sinner

Exterminator # 1: (confused) how can you tell? He looks exactly like the rest of the sinners

Exterminator # 4: (still excited) every sinner as soon as they enter look like him: eyes that seem empty and soulless, weak, appears to be in a trance and completely and utterly confused. (Happy) Killing them is soooooooo fun they barely understand whats happening and they die again hahahahahahhahha (slowly puts his knife in front of (Y/N)'s face)

Exterminator # 2; (worried) hey whoa don't you think this is kinda.......... barbaric?

Exterminator # 4: I saw you rip a demons ribs and used them to stab another but here is where you draw the line?

Exterminator # 2: (sheepish) well yeah but they were attacking us and this one is just sitting there

Exterminator # 4: (serious) He is a sinner whatever happens to him he deserves it

Exterminator # 1: (uncaring) yeah, sorry pal but we're here for a reason and we must fulfilled it

Suddenly a yell interrupted their argument

Exterminator # 3: (angry) HEEEEEEEEY what the fuck are you guys doing? I'm hearing a lot of bitching and no sinners dying (notices (Y/N)) who is that little sinner and why is he still alive?

Exterminator # 4: he is a freshly arrived sinner and the only reason his still alive is because he is telling us to not kill him

Exterminator # 2: is just that don't you guys think it's cruel? He just arrived and he didn't do anything towards us and...........

But he is quickly silenced by the revolver willing exterminator who shoved him aside and pointed his revolver to (Y/N)

Exterminator # 3: do I have to show you how to do everything? (towards (Y/N)) now my little sinner is time for you to finally be put out of you're pathetic misery

(Y/N): (Narrating) while the exterminators argued among themselves, I was remembering all my pains in the living world every punishment my family put me through and I was growing angrier and angrier until......

We see (Y/N) slowly raises his head looking at the revolver shoved in his face and the cocky exterminator wielding it

Exterminator # 3: (notices) look who finally decided to wake up, welcome sinner to you're first and final day in hell!! So pray my little sinner pray for forgiv.......

The exterminator was interrupted by (Y/N) who grabbed his arm, quickly twisted it, took the revolver and stabbed the exterminator in the chin with the barrel of the revolver

(Y/N): (emotionless) you talk to much

BANG

The rest of the exterminators were in silent shock seeing one of their own killed by a lowly sinner but the shock turned to worry seeing as the demon tackled exterminator # 4 took his knife and started stabbing him and disembowel him

Exterminator # 1 tried to stab (Y/N) in the head but (Y/N) moved his head to the side grabbed his arm and threw the exterminator over his shoulder and shoot him two times in the head

The last one left was the exterminator that tried defending him, (Y/N) stood up and started walking towards him, the exterminator took his knife out but (Y/N) just slapped it away and grabbed him by the neck and headbutted him to the ground

Exterminator # 2 (begging): n-n-no please no I tried to help you please don't do it please

(Y/N) just got in his knees on top of the exterminator

(Y/N): (emotionless) I don't care

And punched him again and again even as he heard the exterminators skull crack he punched again and again AND AGAINEVEN AS THE EXTERMINATOR STOPPED MAKING ANY SOUND AND THE ONLY THING HE COULD HEAR WHERE THE SOUND OF HIS FIST HITTING THE BLOODY BROKEN HEAD OF THE CORPSE AND HIT IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN

(Flashback end)

(Y/N): (somber) I didn't stop until I was out of breath and I could see the bone of my knuckles in both my hands, I picked whatever I could money, angelic bullets and this little beauty (shows his revolver) The same one I got threatened with (nervous smile) pretty funny right 

But none were laughing or smiling (except alastor who looked excited for the story) some looked worried, Charlie was kinda horrified so (Y/N) decide to put an to this path down memory lane

(Y/N): (standing up) well it's late I guess we all should go to sleep

Charlie: (coming out of her shock) w-what no no (Y/N) please continue with you're story

(Y/N): (kinda sad) listen Charlie I think is better if you hear less of my past trust me it's for the best

(Y/N): (thinking) and I'm also scared how you, Vaggie and angel dust will see me afterwards if you even wanna see me

Charlie: (puppy dog eyes) please continue with you're story pleeeeeeeeease

(Y/N) sees around the group and Vaggie, Niffty, angel dust and even fat nuggets are giving him puppy dog eyes while husk is just drinking and alastor just sits waiting to see what happens

(Y/N): (seats back down with a tired sigh) okey, so I got a key for a motel from one of the dead demons and I got there and fell sleep, the next day demons saw the carnage that I did but didn't know it was me and rumors started spreading about how hell had his own exterminator for the angels and started calling it "HELL'S EXTERMINATOR" (very uncreative) for me this was ridiculous and didn't give a shit, nothing much happened that month some occasional fights and stealing but the next one I met Bruno and my war with Valentino and Vox started

(Flashback starts)

We see a dark bull like demon banging on a door

Bruno: (angry) HEY open the door Valentino wants his money

Inside the motel room we see semi destroy room with a lot of empty bottles of tequila and vodka around it and some even in the bed right next to a sleeping (Y/N) who wakes up with with black circles under them and a very unkempt beard and hair

(Y/N): (groans while waking up) yeah yeah I fucking heard yah (stretches and grabs a bottle) just STOP IM TRYING TO SLEEP

But since the knocking and banging on his door didn't stop he decided to give the person a piece of his mind (and a piece of lead) and opens his door to meet face to face with a bull demon

(Y/N): (angry) what?!

Bruno: (demanding) Valentino wants his money

(Y/N): (confused and angry) who?

Bruno: don't play smart with me! you took a loan from Valentino and I'm here to collect

(Y/N): (angry) listen dickhead I just arrived seven days ago I have no idea what you're talking about

Bruno: (confused) you're not Fred?

Realizing what the problem was (Y/N) looked at the demon in front of him and say

(Y/N): (frustrated) listen bud im pretty sure that guy is dead since the key that I found for this room was in a dead body after the extermination thing happened, so sorry but you're gonna have to tell you're boss you failed (begins to close door) good day dickhead

But before the door closes Bruno puts his foot in front of the door and forces it open

Bruno: (demanding) did you also take the money?

(Y/N): (uncaring) yeah, from most of the bodies and bought a bunch of vodka why?

Bruno: (demanding) well guess you have to pay Fred's debt

(Y/N): I'm sorry the fuck did you just say?

Bruno: (angry) you heard me that money doesn't belong to a worthless piece of shit like you so either give me the money now or (shit eating grin) do you want me to tell Valentino that someone stole his money?

(Y/N): (narrating) honestly I didn't have a shit about the money, I sincerely would have given him the money and that would have been all of my story but there was this part of my that was just pissed off and wanted to take my anger out on something and I was glad Bruno and Valentino offered themselves

(Y/N): (acting scared) fine j-just don't tell Valentino okey

Bruno: (getting close to the door) yeah buddy just give me the money and we can forget this

(Y/N): good, good (angry) FUCKING IDIOT

(Y/N) smashes his bottle of vodka right on Bruno's face, the glass opening fleshand the alcohol making Bruno feel like his skin was burning but before he could yell (Y/N) grabbed him by one of his horns pulled his head right next to the door and smashed it right in his snout

(Y/N): (mockingly) nighty night

(Y/N) raises his foot and smashes the bull demon's skull knocking him out, Bruno is gonna wish not to mess with this demon

Time skip: brought to you by MATRIXDEXTER apologizing for taking so goddammed long

(On Valentino's porn studios)

(Interruption: I'm not describing them okey go to the fandoms Wikipedia or whatever)

We see Vox with a very worried face (or screen face?) while Velvet is seen just laying down looking trough her phone and we see a very pissed of Valentino walking in circles ranting about a certain bull demon

Valentino: (furious) three days. THREE FUCKING DAYS AND BRUNO HASNT SHOWN UP, it doesn't make any sense he alway shows up on time who does he think he is for making me wait when I see him I'll..........

CRASH

Val's mad ramblings are interrupted the mutilated, headless and disemboweled corpse of Bruno crashing through his window but what was really curious was the fact that inside his stomach was a bloody video camera with a note saying: "for Valentino"

While confused the three overlords hocked the camera to Vox head and watched (Y/N)'s message

In the video (Y/N) appeared setting up the camera and before sitting down also he looked much cleaner he shaved, the dark shadows under his eyes were kinda gone and he looked more energetic than before, Valentino would be lying if he said he didn't find him handsome (and also was wondering how big you where) but (Y/N)'s message finally started

(Y/N): (uncaring) this message is for a man named Valentino, now mister if you are watching this: hello you don't know me but I know aaaaaalot about you and that is thanks to my new friend (stands up and pulls Bruno tied up to a chair and beaten) say: "hi" Bruno

Bruno: (scared and crying mumbling) please.........no more ......just stop please

(Y/N): (angry) YOU DIDN'T SAY: "HI" (stick his middle and index finger in a wound on Bruno's shoulder who starts whimpering at the sudden pain)

Bruno: (crying and yelling in pain) HeLlO

(Y/N): (mockingly) good Bruno (takes his fingers out and cleans them on Bruno's shirt) now Bruno told me you don't care about you're "lapdogs" or "bitches" but I do believe I have something you do want (takes a bag and shows the money that Bruno collected) don't worry I'm a good samaritan and I'm gonna give it back (laughs) well I WAS gonna give it back but then I started hearing this stories from Bruno about how you treat other people so instead here's what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna send you a message and my pal Bruno is gonna be part of that message (takes revolver out)

Bruno: (weak) no......no, no No NO NONONONON (gets shot in the head)

(Y/N): now you're Italian right? So I'm gonna say this in a way you understand: ti darò una lezione che non dimenticherai mai, una lezione di umiltà, una lezione di dolore e una lezione di sangue.

(I used google translation sorry if it's wrong)

So I'm gonna show you to never fuck with me and if you are wondering were I am well it's actually simple : No tell motel room 11 on the second floor I'll keep the door open, bye bye blue rat (end filming)

Everyone felt Valentino's rage beginning to reach its boiling point but they didn't noticed a certain spiders in kinky boots watching curious and certainly interested in that strange sinner

Another timeskip: brought to you by cyberpunk 2077 I actually like the game

We can see a bunch of Valentino's men on the door to room 11 when one of them counts get his ear to the door

Fat goon: is he there?

Bird goon: I don't hear anything

Slug goon: maybe his sleeping?

Cheetah goon: what a fucking dumbass

Bird goon: okey to the count of three: one, two and THREE

They kick the door open and shoot towards a chair where a silhouette was and shot it all to hell when they made sure it was dead the fat goon turned the chair around where they saw Bruno's decapitated head with a note attached to it that said: "nice try"

Fat goon: boss is not gonna be happy about this

Cheetah goon: hey does anyone hear a ticking noise?

And indeed they all heard ticking noises despite the room having no clocks and weirdly it was coming from the bed the slug goon took the mattress out where a shit load of C-4 was in there with a picture of (Y/N) that said: "have a nice day" and in the timer there were only three seconds left

All goons; OH FUC......

BOOM

Outside of the burning motel we see (Y/N) with a flat cap and his casual clothes eating a hot dog

(Y/N): MAN, this is gonna be sooooooo fun

(Y/N): (narrating) and basically that's how my war with Valentino started

Vaggie: (confused) wait all of that over some stolen money?

(Y/N): honestly I think it was more than that, at least for Valentino since I was a lowly sinner standing up to an overload and I don't think that a good look but for me it was all just an excuse to take my anger against someone that truly deserve it but after I met angel it took a more personal approach (winks towards angel dust who flushes)

Charlie: (curious) okey that is good to know but I'm mostly curious how you met Alastor?

(Y/N): well that's actually a very short story but I'll tell you anyway because this is an origins chapter and we need to milk this (narrating) so after annoying the blue rat for a while

We see (Y/N) stealing Val's limo and paying homeless people to shit inside it and then returning the limo, (Y/N) sneaking inside Val's office and destroying everything and also stealing some golden things and finally (Y/N) killing some goons dumb enough to try to fight him

(Y/N): (narrating) and I guess he finally got tired of some nobody messing around his whole operation he finally decided to send his boy toys bigger weapons

(flashback)

(Y/N) is seen fighting what I can only describe as a "mini Vox" this hulking figures have tv faces just like vox but they're whole body is made of various wires and some cables and are pretty fucking though as (Y/N) was discovering

(Y/N): (standing up and spitting blood) that stings (sees mini Vox approaching) seems like Val no longer is underestimating me is he Vox?

Mini Vox: His really angry with the constant annoyance you caused and send me to finally end this nonsense

(Y/N): (pulling his revolver out) well I'm not gonna go down without a fight tv fucker

(Y/N) runs towards Mini Vox and when his at arms reach slides trough the things legs and jumps on his back the vox clone grabs him by a leg but (Y/N) starts shooting it right we're the body and the tv were connected

Mini Vox: (pissed off) get off me you insect (pulls (Y/N) legs harder)

(Y/N) starts pulling the tv head with all his might and with a little help from Vox he yanks it from the cable body and begins smashing the tv on a wall

(Y/N): (tired) and that.....is what you get! (pops his leg in the right place) It's gonna take more than some weird clone to ta.......

but before our intrepid and handsome antihero could continue another mini Vox appears and grabs (Y/N) by the back of the head

Mini Vox: (smug) there was more than one

The new Vox clone throws (Y/N) trough the air making him land in a very peculiar radio station

(Y/N): (weak and trying to stand up) uugh man okey this is getting ridiculous even for me (spits more blood) where did I land?

Where he was can be described as if he was in and antique shop only that there were people clearly living here

(Y/N): mmmh looks pretty cozy

But his appreciation was cut short by the Mini Vox suddenly appearing behind him and beginning to choke him

Mini Vox: when you wake up Val and me are gonna have so much fun torturing you

????: (amused) well that's a magnificent way to make an entrance

Suddenly (Y/N) falls to the ground able to feel air entering his lungs again a red hand appears in front of him to help him stand up and he takes it

????: young man you should be proud of yourself I haven't been this amused since my last victim

(Y/N) sees that the Vox clone was destroyed beyond repair and took a look at his savior and the first thing he noticed strange as it may sound was the smile on the strangers face it didn't seem friendly but neither malicious

????: oooh were are my manners the names Alastor what your name young man

(Y/N): (carefully) my names (Y/N) mister (realizes) wait Alastor as in the radio demon?

Alastor: the one and only but I do prefer if you would use my name

(Y/N): (confused and scared) but I thought you were a myth

Alastor: a myth?! I'm as real as the inescapable death of every living thing on earth

(Y/N) was never one to be scared his "family" made sure of that but being weak and in the mercy of a famous serial killer and cannibal was sending chills down his spine

Alastor: now now don't look at me like that I'm not gonna hurt you (demonic) YET

(Y/N): (kinda confident) then why help me? I know you're type, you don't do something unless you gain something

Alastor: HA HA I knew I would like you, you see you're quite amusing to me able to fight of exterminators and now overlords OH the excitement the biggest performance I've ever seen before

(Y/N): wait you know that I am.......

Alastor: "Hells Exterminator"? yes young man ever since you arrived I been curious about you and I (pause for dramatic effect) want to hire you

(Y/N): (confused) you want to hire me? Because I amuse you?

Alastor: exactly (puts his right hand for a handshake and it turns green) do we have a deal?

(Y/N): (curious) and if I say no?

Alastor: you may leave but next time we meet I won't be as....... friendly

(Y/N): (narrating) I know what you're thinking: "don't do it he is clearly evil and sketchy as fuck" but I realize something the only reason I was winning against Val and Vox was because I had the element of surprise and Valentino was clearly to confident but today I was close to being captured so I did what any kinda rational person would do

(Y/N) well (shakes Alastor hand with his left hand) what happens now, boss?

Alastor: my friend none of that boss nonsense call me Alastor and now (malicious) let's have some FUN

(Flashback end)

Alastor: (happy sigh) those were some good moments

(Y/N): (melancholic) yeah they were, (to Charlie) believe it or not Alastor wasn't that bad of a boss he was pretty okey to say

Alastor: (fake hurt) just okey? My old friend why just that?

(Y/N): (annoyed) remember the eye that I found on my food?

Alastor: (uncaring but always smiling) you're never gonna let it go are you?

(Y/N): (exasperated) listen just cus I don't judge you're cannibalistic tendencies doesn't mean you get to drag me into them

While (Y/N) yelled at Alastor everyone else were staring at this strange exchange with various expressions: Husk and Angel were uncaring, Niffty was being adorable and watching in excitement, Charlie and Vaggie were in shock that (Y/N) still alive and fat nuggets is adorable

Charlie comes out of her shock and decides to stop before a war begins

Charlie: (nervous) (Y/N) I'm sure Alastor didn't mean to turn you into cannibalism so just take deep breath and please continue

despite being angry (Y/N) took a deep breath and sat down but he was still giving Alastor mean look which he answered with an even bigger smile if that is possible

(Y/N): (angry groan) anyway after being "hired" by Alastor I got to know Husk and Niffty

(Mini-flashback)

Husk and (Y/N) can be seen drunk out of their minds and surrounded by a bunch of empty bottles of vodka, tequila, aguardiente, rum, whiskey, regular beer and even a bottle of wine

(Y/N): (drunk) a-and that t-(burps) te reason I don't wear un.....underwear (grabs husk by the shoulder)

Husk: (drunk) b-b-but whe..re did the ssss..nake come (lays his head on a empty bottle) from?

(Y/N): (drunk and falling sleep) that's t..he f..unny part (giggles and starts crying) I'm n—never gone fi...nd love (crying and falls to the floor sleep)

Husk: (laughing and coughing) oh man that ssssucks (falls to the floor also sleep)

Timeskip: brought to you RAID SHADOW LEGENDS ITS AN RPG WITH A MILION CHARACTERS BLA BLA BLA (sorry I just really wanted to do it)

(Y/N) woke up to a view that almost gave him a heart attack: Niffty on top of his bed watching him unblinking

(Y/N): (weirdly calm) Niffty how long were you staring at me?

Niffty: (happy) since you feel sleep (gets closer) also you talk a lot in you're sleep, somethings about killing you're family (gets even closer) can I help?

(Y/N): (still somehow calm) sure but first I need to shower

Niffty: (excited) can I watch?!

(Y/N): (emotionless) no

(Mini-flashback end)

Everyone was staring at Niffty with horrified faces except for Alastor, Husk and (Y/N) (who had a face that said im so done with this shit)

Vaggie: (creeped out) okey ignoring that, (to (Y/N) what happened afterwards?

(Y/N): basically with the help of Alastor I was more protected because no one wanted to mess with him and after various day of beating a bunch of goons from Val and Vox then I meet Cherri bomb and Sir Pentious (chuckles) oh they are so much fun

(Flashback time)

In Alastor's radio station we see Husk and (Y/N) playing poker in a kitchen and while Husk was shuffling the cards (Y/N) was singing

(Interruption: if you guess the song correctly, you get......bragging rights? I think I don't know how this works)

(Y/N): (signing)

No "I" in "team"

but there's "con" in "economiy"

We're you expecting adventure?

We're you hoping fo.......

BOOM

A massive explosion shook the radio tower interrupting the song, poker game and breaking some stuff also Alastor appeared in the kitchen angry that his radio session was interrupted

Alastor: (angry) (Y/N) please tell our rude and loud neighbors to keep quite (demonic) or else

(Y/N): (uncaring and opening a fridge) why? I don't have a problem with them

But as he opens the fridge door (Y/N) noticed that three bottles of rum he was saving for later were shattered because of the explosion

(Y/N): (emotionless) I have a problem with them (goes towards the exit to avenge his booze)

While outside he noticed how the various places surrounding the radio tower were destroyed not even the exterminators cause this much destruction but his astonishment for the destruction was interrupted by a zeppelin made of metal flying two blocks away

(Y/N): wow I......I have nothing to say, that's a fucking Zeppelin

Meanwhile in the fucking zeppelin:

A serpent demon was making a big dramatic speech to a blond cyclops demon who was tied in chains and was bored out of her mind

(Interruption: not gonna describe them)

Sir pentious: (laughing like a maniac) I knew you couldn't esssssscape me missy and now I have you trapped how doessssss it feel?

Egg boi: yeah tell her mister boss man

Cherri: (bored) are you finally done? Do you ever shut up or do you just like the sound of you're voice that much you pompous bitch?

Sir pentious could feel his bravado and heart break at how he was being treated but being the (so called) evilest person on hell he was gonna shut her up

Sir pentious: (angry) oh you wanna do it thissssss way? Well two can play at that game (pulls out a drill) time for the torture to begin

But before he could actually even begging the torture a voice interrupted him

(Y/N): HEY SNAKE DOUCHEBAG (does a superhero landing) are you the one causing all this destruction?!

While Pentious was shocked how someone got inside his airbase Cherri was checking (Y/N) out and fantasizing how he would looked tied to her bed

Sir pentious: uuuh (Goes back to being dramatic) YESSSSSSS it was I the most evil geniusssss in hell bow to me worthlesssssss sinner

(Y/N): (pulls revolver out) actually I came here to beat the shit out of you

Sir pentious: (wickedly) oh yeah (motions to his egg boi's) you and what army?!

(Y/N): no army just me (shoots Cherri's chains) and her

Cherri quickly grabs the loose chains and throws them to Pentious making him grab them by instinct and getting kicked in the head while (Y/N) shot three egg boi's and grabbed one and throwing it lo like a bowling ball towards ten more egg boi's making a strike

(Y/N): (to himself) is it weird I want to cook one of these eggs? Probably

Cherri: I wouldn't do that if I was you handsome stranger

(Y/N) (blushing) w-what?! I mean my names (Y/N) how did you get here

Cherri: I'm Cherri bomb and I'm just protecting my turf from this edgy dumbass but enough about me (flirty) let's talk about you in my bed

(Y/N) was nervous as shit since this is kinda the first time someone flirted with him in such way

(Y/N): (shy) w-w-we could do t-that I MEAN later (looks to sir Pentious) but how about we take care of this idiot first

Cherri: (hugging (Y/N) from behind) whatever you want

Sir pentious: (disgusted) augh we don't you get a room you wierdossss

Cherri: (angry) that's what I'm trying to do but first we're gonna kick you're ass and smash you're ship to pieces

(Y/N): (reloading) LETS FUCK HIM UP

Timeskip: brought to you by a very lazy writer that didn't want to write another fight scene fucking sue me

(Y/N) and Cherri can be seen in the ground next to Pentious knocked out in the ground next to the destroyed zeppelin

(Y/N): (starts walking away) it was nice knowing you Cherri but I have to buy some rum and win a poker game se ya around

Cherri: hey ((Y/N) turns around) do you have a phone?

(Y/N): yeah (takes his phones out) why?

Cherri snatched it from his hands and before (Y/N) can complain he notice she was just putting her phone number

Cherri: (gives it back) give me call anytime you want handsome (kisses him in the cheek) goodbye for now

(Y/N) just stand there like a statue while Cherri walks away

(Y/N): what just happened?

(Flashback end)

(Y/N): man those were the days (narrating) after a while I also started helping Cherri protecting her turf from Sir Pentious and eventually I even got to be friends with Sir pentious his pretty fun to be around

(Laughs) man he is hilariously dumb some times

Angel dust: I honestly don't know how you can hang out with him

(Y/N): he is arrogant but he can be friendly also I just play poker with him

Charlie: (excited) oooh angel talking made me realize you haven't said how you meet him

When Charlie said that (Y/N) and Angel were looking at each other (Y/N) looked at him with worry while Angel looked at the floor sad because while the other meetings where funny, badass or weird his meeting with Angel was......traumatic

(Mini-Flashback)

Cherri was finally able to convince (Y/N) to meet Angel Dust at first he didn't want to because he worked for Valentino but after hearing how he was treated (Y/N) decided to go just to at least check how he was doing and to protect Cherri just in case but what they saw made Cherri and (Y/N) blood boil since Angel was curled in a ball and his back was covered in blood Cherri immediately was going to go for a medical kit but needed something from (Y/N)

(Y/N): (whisper yelling) are you out of you're mind?! Absolutely NO

Cherri Bomb: (whispering) (Y/N) please just wait here while a go for a medical kit

(Y/N): (whispering) I know how to use a medical kit let me go for it

Cherri: (whispering) oh okey do you know we're they sell them?

(Y/N) just stood quite glaring at the ground it was true he checked almost all corners of hell and couldn't find a single one

(Y/N): (sigh) okey fine but hurry up this is already to risky for me

Cherri: (relieved) thank you (Y/N) (kisses his cheek) I'll pay you back

And like that Cherri jumped out the window and started running while (Y/N) and Angel sat in an uncomfortable silence that was interrupted by an adorable snort sound near (Y/N)'s feet

(Y/N): (looks down) what the.....

(Y/N) sees a little pink pig rubbing it's face on his legs almost begging for attention

(Y/N): (kneels down) well hello there adorable fella how you doing? (Pets the adorable pig)

Angel Dust: (groaning) Fat Nuggets

(Y/N): (confused) what?

Angel Dust: (siting up) his name is Fat Nuggets

(Y/N): (lifts Nuggets to his arms) weird name but also weirdly adorable (to Angel) I wouldn't try to move

Angel Dust: I'm used to this

Silence filled the room once again while (Y/N) was trying to process what Angel said, Angel decided to break the silence

Angel Dust: I recognize you (looking at him) from the video you sent with Bruno's body

(Y/N): sorry for that it was meant for your boss, was Bruno you're......

Angel Dust: lover? Fuck no he was a piece of shit

(Y/N): (laughs) can't argue with that (watches Angel's back) hey I think better if we clean your wounds at least I-if you want

Angel Dust: (giggles) no need to be shy come here

(Y/N) stood in front of Angel and he wouldn't lie he was handsome, beautiful even no wonder they called him Angel

Angel Dust: (seductive) seeing something you like?

(Y/N): (shy) sorry do you have some kind of alcohol for you're wounds (gives Angel Fat Nuggets)

Angel Dust: (puts Fat Nuggets on his knees) yeah in the bathroom

Before he could go and get it (Y/N) felt his hand being grabbed and saw Angel Dust crying

Angel Dust: (crying) c-could you please not tel anyone about this please

(Y/N): (serious) I won't I swear (extends his hand) my names (Y/N)

Angel Dust: (sniffs and laughs) I know (shakes his hand) I'm Angel Dust

(Y/N): we both know that's not you're real name

Angel Dust: why don't you try to find out

(Y/N) just laughed and went for the alcohol to clean Angels wounds but he could feel a warm feeling inside him growing

(Mini flashback end)

(Y/N) was in a trance like state looking at the ground that was broken when I felt Charlie starting to shake him and calling to him

Charlie: (shaking (Y/N)) hey (Y/N) you there are you having a Vietnam flashback (YYYYYY/NNNNNN)

(Y/N): (confused) what?

Charlie: I was asking you to tell me how you meet Angel

(Y/N) was not one to lie not even to Charlie he was always honest but he does keep his promises so this is gonna hurt a lot

(Y/N): (drinks a shot of vodka) yeah that's the sad part I don't remember before going I was really nervous so I got completely drunk and woke up in Cherri's sofa with Angels phone number on my hand

Angel Dust: (laughing) you hugged me, called me soft plushie, told me how beautifully I was and fell face first to the ground knocked out Cherri was really jealous

Charlie: aaaaaw I was expecting more

(Y/N) could feel all eyes on him especially Alastor's eyes, Alastor knew (Y/N) was lying he just hoped he would keep his smiling mouth shut

(Y/N): (stretching) well that's all for tonight it's getting late and I talked so much it impressive my voice still works tomorrow will talk about how I meet KING LUCIFER aka Charlie's dad

Timeskip brought to you by THE STUPENDIUM follow him goddamit

(Y/N) was in sitting on top of his bed staring at his revolver and putting one bullet inside, spinning the barrel and pointing the gun at himself but before pulling the trigger there was a knock on his door (Y/N) put the gun away and opening the door for Angel

Angel dust: hey I just wanted to tell you thanks for not telling them about it

(Y/N): no need I made you a promise (grabs his hand and kisses it)

Angel Dust: for a guy that says he doesn't know anything about romance you are very romantic

(Y/N): or maybe I'm just lucky (curious) what else do you need?

Angel dust looked at the ground being nervous about what he was gonna ask

Angel dust: (nervous) can I sleep with you tonight?

(Y/N): yeah sure I don't mind

(Y/N) and Angel dust got in bed and (Y/N) could feel how nervous he was so he decided to hold him and caress his back to comfort him which worked and angel was fast sleep and (Y/N) follows next but neither of them notices Alastor watching from the darkness

Alastor: (to himself) just what are you (Y/N)?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AAAAAAAAAAAND WE DONE finally holy shit this took me so long sorry for the long wait but I wanted this chapter to be hundred percent perfect and also I'm not good making dramatic stuff so please tell me how did I do now: 
> 
> Did you like it?
> 
> Did you hate it?
> 
> Did it make you wish I was aborted because of how awful I am?
> 
> Sorry for the run on sentences and spelling errors se you broskies next time GOODBYE FOR NOW TA TA)


End file.
